The weather today is invigorating. Wind to sweep you off your feet, rain thundering down all night, leaves thrown to the ground in a caucophony of reds, oranges, and yellows, only to be swept up again in a gust and flown high into the grey sky. Wheels spinning swiftly along through rain-wetted roads throwing up rainbows of drops and the sky just bright enough to promise a new day tomorrow. The temperature is perfect, making me feel alive and excited for life, longing to go out and capture the joy with my camera. I am trying but I simply cannot move fast enough: there is so much wonder and I cannot – haven’t the ability to – freeze it in time for eternity with my camera.
The room is a mess, and I don’t mind it because when I come through the door I feel almost home. Not Seattle home, but that I have entered a place that is safe and full of peace and love, a stable place for the next few years. I am learning to let go of what I cannot control this year; to this end I have stopped worrying about seeing my friends, wondering how details will work out for tomorrow, and obsessing over next semester. Everything is still there, and I have not stopped working to solve problems, but the terror and loneliness have faded for the time.
– KF –