1 early-morning alarm clock

15 minutes at the shuttle stop

200 obnoxious prospective WPI nerds

1 friendly shuttle driver named Bob

A dash of freezing winds

1 hr 15 mins of dull classes (double for extra fun)

2 hrs research wasted due to email errors

1 c. futile waiting

10 awkward minutes in a bright blue Focus (thank goodness they don’t sell the real blue any more.)

45 mins wandering around in the dark rain

17 completely incomprehensible pictures

A handfull of frantic hurrying

2 high test scores

1 friend to talk to

$7.50 worth of laundry

2 letters from mothers and an illegible postcard from an uncle

Grease a 62″x17″x6″ pan with Crisco. Set aside. Preheat oven to 35 degrees F.

Mix first 5 ingredients, mixing thoroughly with a blender on high for at least 3 minutes. Stir in freezing winds and dull classes. In a separate bowl combine in wasted research, futile waiting, awkward minutes, and dark rain wandering, adding incomprehensible pictures in a little bit at a time. Pour the second mixture into the first, stirring vigorously. Once that mixture is smooth, stir in the remaining ingredients as desired. If desired, sprinkle with a dash of clever puns, interesting reading (Kim, by Rudyard Kipling), no clean shirts, or other exciting ingredients.

When the mixture is completely dull gray, pour it into the pan. Bake for 15 to 16 hours or until pallid. Let cool for 8 hours. Serve cold.

And yes, the happy banana did come up when I did a Google Image Search for “big mixing bowl.”

– KF –

5 thoughts on “Recipe for a Thrilling Day:

  1. Uh-oh, Rudyard Kipling. Looks like I might have to alert the Thought Police, in case you start getting IDEAS. Such a tender gateway drug into Henry Miller, Thomas Pynchon, and the heroin Joyce, to name a few.

    We Await Silent Tristero’s Empire.

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