“Thank you, please but your flattery is truly not becoming me.
Your eyes are poor. You are blind. You see, no beauty could have come from me.
I am a waste of breath, of space, of time.
…your decisions are yours alone. You are nothing but a stepping stone
on a path to debt, to loss, to shame.
My head feels weak and suddenly it is clear to see that it is not them but me, who has lost my self-identity.
As I hide behind these books I read, while scribbling my poetry,
like art could save a wretch like me, with some ideal ideology that no one can hope to achieve.
And I am never real; it is just a sketch of me.
And everything I have is trite and cheap and a waste of paint, of tape, of time.”
Not that life is always this way, but lately I’ve been feeling so down lately about school and life, even though interpersonal relationships are tolerable and it’s only a few days until I get to go home for a month. I know that home isn’t the magical retreat I would like it to be: there IS no magical retreat, only getting on with the business of living in the world that God has made for us for some reason. Praise God that there’s more to life than what you or I see, that my identity is in Him, and that I cannot save myself. Only He can, and has.
– KF –
1 Paper – Would somebody please be willing to look this over for me? Please?
4 Final Exams
9 Days to Seattle
15 Days to Christmas