Gathering and spending, we lay waste our powers

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Day’s Verse:

“we are afflicted in every way, but no despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying ofJesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death works in us, but life in you. …we believe, therefore we also speak…”

2 Cor. 4:8-12, 13b

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Where is it now, the glory and the dream?

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Day’s Verse:

Love… endures forever.

1 Cor 13:7

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Title credits to Wordsworth’s Intimations of Immortality.

God created people; he gives us value. Many churches say that because He numbered your days, killing yourself should never be an option. I was thinking, however, about Ian’s grandma who had Alzheimer’s and passed away while Jess and I were on our road trip. And mom’s friend John who also died of Alzheimer’s. It’s so hard on the families, though the person going through it is conscious of the fact for a while, after a time they just won’t remember. I was thinking about this, and wondering: would it be better to die than go through that? If the person lives long enough, they completely lose themselves, and isn’t that losing the person that God designed? Yes, physically they are still there, but the personality is completely lost. Continue Reading >>

SPECIAL NOTICE: IT IS DONE

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Day’s Verse:

“Rejoice in the Lord, for He is good; his love endures forever.”

Can’t remember

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That is, as of just now I submitted a tranfer application to WPI and my pulse rate is way too high. I don’t know what’s so pulse-raising about this, aside from the fact that if they accept me it will be a major change to my whole life. I talked to the head of the Tech Comm major, and he said that from what I told him this major would work well for me. There is an opportunity for an internship at the Telegram & Gazette, and though I’d have to take Calc and some other crappy classes like that, overall it seems like this is a good thing. What a year of change so far! Got married, moved into our apartment, switched from Bio to English, and now transfer to WPI (if all goes well). Continue Reading >>

Shuttlizing As A Though-Provoking Experience

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Day’s Verse:

“brethren, if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens… For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself… Each one will bear his own load. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who are of the household of faith.”

Galatians 6:1 – 5, 9 – 10

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Word of the Semester: Lonely

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Day’s Verse:

Love… endures all things.

1 Cor. 13:7

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Either “lonely” or “perseverance.” Only a few weeks have elapsed, but I’d swear that I have aged ten years. For lonely, I count my close Clark friends a completely loss: I may yet see the people, but the closeness has gone. I am a shadow on the wall, a living doorstop, an echo. For perseverance, of course, I have this: the loss of Jess as a close friend, the brief removal of my husband, and the struggle in classes. (Pudd’nhead!) I still have not thought of anything I like about Clark. However, this has been suggested to me as an alternate to either pausing my education or sticking with my rather uninspiring English major: the WPI Technical Communications major. It would be my third change of majors in three years, for it would go into effect next year. What are the pros and cons? I would go to WPI, suffer their gruelling 7 week schedule, pay more than I do for Clark – probably substantially more, since I doubt WPI would be as generous with me as Clark was. I would take probably an additional year of college, and that means three years in Worcester when the idea of two is enough to make a body weep. On the other hand, I would get a major more practical than English, for the desire for technical writers is great; this would, as Ian said, be an “average” between a Bio major and English major; though we would have to rent the apartment longer, its general situation would be much handier for both of us; and Ian added that we would get to see each other during the day. As it is, I basically “go off to work,” and we reconvene in the evenings. Unless Ian is gallavanting off in the British Isles instead. So? If I don’t switch, I don’t know if I will want to reenroll at Clark next year. Finishing college once in Washington won’t be any easier than it would be to “simply” transfer to WPI here. Frankly, I’m leaning towards applying to WPI as a transfer student, anyways. I’m a smart girl – how could they turn me down?! If I get accepted, then I guess I really would have a choice on my hands. Continue Reading >>

Only For the Countdown

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Day’s Verse:

“…we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

Romans 5:3-4

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Cannot say that today is exceptional. I kept waking up all night expecting Ian to be there, but alas; alas. (Pardon any typos, I’m doing this with my glasses off) Generally I’m feeling difficult and uncommunicative. I feel quite blah, my religion having been once again not-so-subtly lambasted by Professor Bastien. Continue Reading >>

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Day’s Verse:

Love… endures all things.

1 Cor. 13:7

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I am always amazed by the emptiness I feel when Ian and I stop talking. Online is so unsatisfying, yet it’s still better than nothing. Though it isn’t as acute, I can still say quite honestly: I miss Ian so much. Something is just not right with life when he’s gone.

– KF –

Countdown:

40 days to my husband.