Life is taking a strange turn. Ian leaves on Friday, but I’m in complete denial of the fact – or maybe I just handle the idea alright during the day – but at night I completely fall apart. The idea of sleeping apart from him after getting so used to cuddling up (and being warmed without any work on my part!) next to him makes me very, very lonely. Also, though I’m glad Jess will be around, I think I’ll feel a little strange about crying around her. I anticipate feeling the desire to burst into tears often and for no apparent reason shortly after Ian leaves, and after any phone calls we have (of which there will be few, knowing the cost of international telephoning). Also, while he’s gone he will turn 21 and we’ll have been married for a whole 6 months… haha sounds stupid, but I know we’d probably do something if he was around. *Sigh* Much as I adore Jess, nobody can come close to filling the loneliness of when Ian will be gone.
That makes me think how glad I am that God never leaves us. If I love Ian so much, and will miss him so terribly (and he’s coming back! – Hopefully), how much worse it would be to lose my closest friend and Savior. While Ian feels like part of me, Christ is part of me: losing Him would be having part of my heart ripped out. Why am I thinking about this?
We’ve spent the last day or so at Ian’s house, reading and playing Mario Kart. I completely suck at the racing part; fortunately it’s just a silly little video game, pertaining to nothing important. We slept in Ian’s single bed in moderate comfort, which rather amazed me – but lately I have wanted to sleep close to him anyway, knowing I won’t have that option for the next two months or so. I’ve been reading Neal Stephenson’s Snow Crash with a goal of having it done before we go back to my house this evening. We also watched Arsenic and Old Lace, the 1944 Cary Grant version. It was quite evident that they had adapted the play into a movie, for all the action took place almost exactly as the WPI Masque did it. Cary Gant, in my opinion, shouted far too much to be amusing at all. Generally a cute movie though. Also, my I Love My Geek shirt finally arrived today! It is a Men’s medium, suitable more for a nightshirt than anything else, but Ian was so happy that it came correctly…
I slept for probably two hours today, waking quite disoriented at 5:00. Everything smelled good all of a sudden, but it wasn’t dinner or breakfast, and what the heck was going on?! That’s the story of my life.
– KF –