Everything comes to an end.

I have this irrational fear that when Ian leaves for London I’ll never see him again…

I feel completely out of the loop in all my relationships. Everything that I talk with people about is mundane and surface – that is, if I ever talk to people. That’s the nature of break, I suppose; we’re all off doing our “own thing” and it’s nice not having to try to maintain those pesky old relationships.

Jess and I started a joint journal over the summer as a way to express emotions honestly, but I’m not completely sure that I will see it again. If Jess has been writing in it, she may want to keep the last few months to herself. Haha, of course since we only exchanged it once that’s no major loss… (Incidentally, I saw an ad that made me think of Jess)

To tell the truth, I don’t feel like laughing anymore. I hate feeling so desperate and sad when Ian is still here – it’s stupid – and I want to leave him with happy memories of our last few days before he left. Only at night all I can think of is how much I love him, and then how lonely it will be sleeping without him. *Sigh* During the day, however, I do alright. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming… 😀

– KF –

3 thoughts on “Thoughts

  1. bwahaha… 4gb vs my 40gb??? I think not… and so although the green is nice, It just can’t compare to my precious….

    Katie- I’ll talk with you. I don’t want to have our important talks over the internet, though.

  2. Yeah, as we all know the internet totally sucks for real talks.

    OK, I will admit, you do sacrifice 36 gigs for the pretty color… 😉

  3. As annoying as it may be to hear me say “I know how you feel”, I think I do. Of course, I’m not married to Todd, but I have a very deep love for him, and having to say goodbye to him when he left for Switzerland tore me up inside. Especially since it was right amidst first-semester of freshman year and all. I just want you to know if you ever need someone to come to or cry on or anything, I’m there and I’ve been through the same feelings you’re describing. I’d try and be happy for the weeks leading up to Todd’s departure, but I’d just cry all the time worrying about it. It’s hard to focus on the present when there’s a very uncomfortable looming future that you can’t stop from arriving. But I do want to let you know that as hard as that was, I got through it because of you, and Kristin, and my family, and whomever else. 7 weeks sounds like forever, and it felt it would never come when he’d come back, but the reunion is so sweet once it does happen. I was sick for a lot of those weeks so I don’t remember a whole lot, but what made it okay was having people to talk to.

    You’re welcome to stay in my room any night you feel lonely or I’ll come see you if you like. I’ll help you through this if you need me, Katie, because I know how terrible it feels to have this coming up and having to say “See you later” for awhile. He will come back, though, and you will see each other again! It’s a very happy moment to look forward to. Just make sure he doesn’t get a job cross-country for the summer! (hehe)

    I’ve been thinking of you, dear! I’m very much looking forward to seeing you in the coming weeks!!

    Love,

    Les

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