Everything comes to an end.
I have this irrational fear that when Ian leaves for London I’ll never see him again…
I feel completely out of the loop in all my relationships. Everything that I talk with people about is mundane and surface – that is, if I ever talk to people. That’s the nature of break, I suppose; we’re all off doing our “own thing” and it’s nice not having to try to maintain those pesky old relationships.
Jess and I started a joint journal over the summer as a way to express emotions honestly, but I’m not completely sure that I will see it again. If Jess has been writing in it, she may want to keep the last few months to herself. Haha, of course since we only exchanged it once that’s no major loss… (Incidentally, I saw an ad that made me think of Jess)
To tell the truth, I don’t feel like laughing anymore. I hate feeling so desperate and sad when Ian is still here – it’s stupid – and I want to leave him with happy memories of our last few days before he left. Only at night all I can think of is how much I love him, and then how lonely it will be sleeping without him. *Sigh* During the day, however, I do alright. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming… 😀
– KF –