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Day’s Verse:

“The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; for You, LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you.”

Psalm 9:9-10

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I’m making up for Ian’s lack of posting by doing twice a day, I guess. Normally I wouldn’t do this – haha, don’t believe me! – but I’m writing because actually a lot of stuff happened this afternoon. There was a brief moment of panic as I realized I’d committed to both going into Boston with Jess and talking to Kathleen that evening, but after much brief deliberation decided that we should be able to get back to Worcester in time. Accordingly, at 3:00 Jess and I left for Boston, and a car wash before hand.

That’s when tragedy struck, namely in the form of a ditzy girl in a big pickup. No, we weren’t hit: in fact, it’s rather round-about, but we did the crashing into of others. The ditzy girl had stopped just at the bottom of this hill, rolled her window down, and was shouting at some guy across the street from her. Because of that, the car behind her stopped and waited; and because of THAT Jess had to slam on her brakes to slow our progress down the hill. Antilock brakes came on and we ran smack into the gentleman stopped behind the ditz. When she noticed what’d happened, she started her truck and drove away while Jess and the guy got out to stare with dismay at their bumpers. Actually, not much damage was done, but they exchanged information and it rather dampened our adventuring spirit. Plus, when we got to the car wash (the only reason we’d driven down the hill in the first place!) there was such a long line that we decided to hit it later. Massachusetts has not been Jess’s driving state at all: she got two parking violation tickets, one within 2 hours of arriving here in Worcester, the other in Cambridge while visiting Harvard. Then she hit this guy. And actually in Montana she ran smack into a pole while trying to turn into a car wash, so that’s four terrible events for her. I was just glad none of them were me – I drove quite carefully – because I’m not insured with their car so it’d be a terrible mess if I’d hit this guy.

We found her mom in Logan after almost two hours of waiting and wandering. She flew ATA, which I’d never heard of before, and turns out to not fly many flights around Boston. They shared a baggage claim with American West. Oh, they call themselves America’s 10th largest airline… kind of reminds me of saying that a company is in the “top 500,” where if they were anything more than 400 they would just say the “top 400.” Aaaanyway, we found her mom and then wandered around Boston in Jess’s car looking for a very specific Italian place her mom had been to 4 years before and whose name Mrs. Rauch just couldn’t remember. Needless to say, after they’d bickered for some time, Jess pulled into an expensive parking lot and we wandered around on foot. Eventually we ate at a place called Resturaunte Lucia, or some such, and they had pretty good food. Sadly I left it in Jess’s car in the confusion.

8.45 I talked to Kathleen Miller. No details but that went well and we’ll talk again next week some time. Several eating thoughts: 1. As Deborah told me, food could be considered medicine for anorexia. I wouldn’t reject a treatment for cancer if I had it; in the same way, why reject this treatment? 2. Mom told me about a book she read in which the author suggested that people had to eat 3 times a day to be reminded on our dependence on God. If we could just go all the time foodless, when would we ever stop and be reminded of our mortality and dependence on Him? Without Him and His creation we wouldn’t even be alive. 3. Kathleen suggested thinking of it scientifically and realizing that the thrice-daily isn’t really necessary but the nutrition is. She strongly encouraged me to have a more regimented eating pattern, not allowing a lack of hunger to prevent me from eating. All these things I’m thinking about, in conjunction with Ian’s desperate plea, “Katie, please, please eat.” If I won’t do it for anybody else, I would eat for Ian. Above all I wouldn’t hurt him, and if my not eating causes my husband pain – I will eat. I will. Truly, I’m going on the rebound here, getting this back under control. Adjusting to having Ian gone is going alright, and as that goes well – and with Jess’s departure – I am going to be able to focus more on taking care of myself. Cause people do need to eat to live, don’t they? Hmm, maybe I’ll just go have a snack right now… and once again, Google image search brings up a winner. That picture I found when I searched for “snack.”

– KF –


45 days to Ian

One thought on “PARANOID 2

  1. I’m so happy that things are looking up and you’re feeling a bit better, Katie. That’s the type of thing I like to hear!

    Also enjoying the picture of the ‘natural snack mascot’…haha. Looks like she…er…it…’s been through quite some trauma. : )

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