Day’s Verse:

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and redeemer.”

Psalm 19:14


…or day. Actually I mean day because though it’s only 11.19 I have been here at Clark forever and am ready to crawl back on the shuttle, slink into the apartment, and curl up on the bed to sleep away my day. Which I find odd, because I went to bed at 11.00 last night; on the other hand it’s not odd because all I’ve eaten today was an English muffin at 7.30, and my body doesn’t have much extra energy stored away for if I don’t eat for a few hours. I think food would help, but here I am trapped at Clark where they sell only the most outrageously priced items – and of course I neglected to bring money with me in any case. Oh well.

I thought on the shuttle over here about why people attend college. Why are you going to college, or why did you? I hear tell that most careers you learn most of the important stuff on the job anyway. Perhaps this is less true than I expect, but my Soc prof talked in class today about that – an odd coincidence? – and suggested that we wouldn’t learn any skills in college. Nothing useful like how to change a car’s tire, what to do if a pipe breaks in the wall, how to unclog a toilet… I don’t know that I agree with her though on all counts: English, well, let’s say I want to be a writer (I do). What exactly will I gain from reading lots of 19th century poetry? Or any historical literature? Maybe I’ll gain an appreciation for “The Classics,” but again, if I want to write excellent and interesting articles about science, how will “The Classics” serve me? I am literally unable to take classes I feel would help my future life, classes about how to write short stories, journalistic articles, and so forth, because Clark’s English program demands so much history I can’t fit any extra stuff in.

I know I say I don’t like poetry very much, but sometimes a good one comes along. Here’s one from William Blake, written in 1794 that I like: Little Fly

Little Fly

Thy summer’s play

My thoughtles hand

Has brush’d away

Am not I

A fly like thee?

Or art not thou

A man like me?

For I dance

And drink & sing,

Till some blind hand

Shall brush my wing.

If thought is life

And strength & breath,

And the want

Of thought is death;

then am I

A happy fly

If I live

Or if I die.

If you read enough of something you begin to appreciate it. I still have many pages of Blake to get through. This semester will really test if I can/want to stick with the English major. Yes, yes, it’s getting a bit late to change my mind, but… We’ll see. I like reading and writing, but at the same time there’s a limit to how much of any one enjoyable activity a person can take. And as I’ve been wondering, if I want to write why don’t I do that instead of burning $30,000 a year on an “education”?

Additional William Blake quotes:

“Prudence is a rich ugly old maid courted by Incapacity.”

“A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees.”

“He whose face gives no light, shall never become a star.”

“Eternity is in love with the productions of time.”

“The busy bee has no time for sorrow.”

“No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings.”

“The most sublime act is to set another before you.”

Sound deep? Don’t get too enchanted, because these are under the section of “The Marriage of Heaven and Hell” called ‘Proverbs of Hell.’ Some of the others are a little more surprising. Take “Drive your cart and yoru plow over the bones of the dead.” Mmmm-hmm, little different feel there, huh?

Been eating a lot, even though it makes me feel kind of sick. I’m trying to “take my medicine” regularly, truly. Generally I’d say life is looking up, not school-work wise, but emotionally and mentally. Blah! Expect to read a lot of poetry or quotes in the future, for that’s what my life will consist of.

– KF –


44 days to Ian

2 thoughts on “Long Hard Night

  1. We are glad you are “taking your medicine.” We love you and would hate to see you prematurely “brushed away like a fly on a summer’s day” as Blake so colorfully describes it.

    Perhaps doing a journalism internship or taking off a semester to do some freelance writing and see how that goes would be a good chance to try our your wings away from academia. (Okay, the “bee’s wing’s” analogy doesn’t work here).

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