~~~

Day’s Verses:

This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

John 15:12-13

Let brotherly love continue. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.

Hebrews 13:1-2

~~~

Dear Friend,

I wish you could have come to my wedding, although I know crossing the country is an ordeal and you couldn’t really afford it. I can’t describe the experience now, though, because everything blurs together…except for not seeing you there.

Dear Friend,

Today in a small corner grocery store I saw chocolates that reminded me of you—the round, filled kind that you always carry around and offer to your friends. I wish we could share chocolates again.

Dear Friend,

Today I ran across a Christmas present I typed for you on the old computer at home. It didn’t take me very long to think of 100 thinks I loved about you then. I miss you, but I don’t think you think of me very much.

Dear Friend,

I saw you online and away today. It made me wonder if I should try to talk to you again after all this time, but I didn’t IM you. Trying to explain life when so much changes so fast is hard when we never talk anymore.

Dear Friend,

Where were you tonight? We planned on getting together for dinner, but you never came and never answered your phone when I called. I called twice but couldn’t leave a message, for fear you would hear the hurt and loneliness in my voice.

Dear Friend,

Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what you’re doing with your life. I wonder if you’ve gotten a job yet, if you’ve moved apartments and I don’t know, if your ex is still manipulating you. Days of camaraderie are long over, aren’t they?

Dear Friend,

I spent the day alone on campus again, and I saw the places we sat and talked, and I thought of you. When I walk home alone I think of the time we walked that road. What happened?

Dear Friend,

A song came up in my playlist that I remember you begging me to turn off when we were hanging out. A sad song because I think it was the song of your old relationship, and not right to play while we squabbled over cards. Now I hear it and think of the pain on your face, and the good times we don’t have anymore.

Dear Friend,

I called you and left a message on your phone; hearing your voice for the first time in months is strange to me. It makes me feel squishy inside, as if I’ve disturbed a sleeping snake that, now angered, will bite me.

Dear Friend,

Sometimes I take out one of my fountain pens, only to be reminded of letters I wrote to you, or letters I didn’t write to you. My sister gave me a beautiful new pen and I wanted to write you a letter to try it out but felt awkward.

Dear Friend,

When loneliness overwhelms me I wish I could give you a call to just get together. The distance that separates us is far and short at the same time. In this digital age nothing is farther than an email away, except for you.

Dear Friend,

Today I sat in a couch that we shared, propping my feet up on a table we played cards together on. You fondly called me names when I beat you, but you won most of the time however hard I tried. You’ve won again, haven’t you?

Dear Friend,

The other day on the way home from church we drove by a gas station that advertised “Clean Bathrooms,” which reminded me of your desire for cleanliness—inspired, I suppose, by knowing too much microbiology. I would have told you about it, but you weren’t there.

Dear Friend,

Thank you for the loan of the book. I finished it quickly and will return it the next time I see you, probably some time in the next year. Maybe the Postal Service would be more efficient.

Dear Friend,

I miss you.

– KF –

5 thoughts on “Letters I Wish I Had Written

  1. Interesting entry, Katie. There are several e-mails that I’ve written to people, to only save them as drafts and never send them. Sometimes I think the very act of writing them, even though not sent, is theraputic. And yet I have to wonder: putting so many of these letters up on the web, someone is bound to recognize themselves in them. Is that your secret hope?

  2. No, that was not my intention at all. A lot of them are actually fictional, or highly abstracted; the idea came to me when one of the events happened, but most of the others haven’t.

    I, too, have saved letters/emails that the recipient will never see. There does seem to be something cathartic about writing out what you want to say, even if it’s never read.

  3. Speaking of books…
    did Ben ever get “The Game” to you? Did you enjoy it? If you read it, I need a review! You have an assignment:)

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