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Day’s Verse:
Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
1 Peter 4:11
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The stories:

All You Can Eat Dining Hall. Chicken Nugget Day.

One student, plate piled high with nuggets and BBQ sauce, asks, “How many chicken nuggets do you think somebody’s eaten here?”
“Dunno… 50 at least.”
“I bet I could do it.”

Next week, hungrily prepped. Forty-six nuggets down, need a break. Walk three paces and—undigested chicken nuggets spew everywhere.

This Is Why We Don’t Trust Random Websites

“You can get snow blindness,” the student explained to his classmates. “From bright snow, welding, or water. UV light reflects off them, burning your cornea. Or a nuclear flash. You should close one eye for a nuclear flash. That way you only go blind in one eye rather than both.”

Impeccable Timing, As Usual

“How long have we had this saran-wrap?” Pulling it out.
“Goodness, I don’t know. Two years?”
“I’d really say closer to three. It’s from that last apartment.”
“Amazing how long it’s lasted, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, I can’t believe it—” With that, he withdrew the last three inches. What timing.

Yes, I am Graduating This May

10:30 pm. Yet the swirl of adolescents only increased with time. Their high emotions clog the air. Girls’ heavy make-up grimes eyes, thick lipstick and faux-blonde hair twinkle in streetlights. Weaving between my aloof group: “Excuse me, excuse me.”

Waiting in line for Harry Potter 4. We’re college seniors.

And the Moral of the Story Is…

She never sees anybody on this route; perennially empty, the laundry room awaits. Why carry the bag by hand? Walk around house, unlock door.

At laundry room door, another tenant appears. He waits as she fumbles her keys in embarrassment. Wonders why she’s draped a laundry bag over her head.