Yet we do speak wisdom among those who are mature; a wisdom, however, not of this age nor of the rulers of this age who are passing away; but we speak God’s wisdom in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God predestined before the ages of our glory.
1 Cor. 2:6-7
Last night Ian and I went to have dinner and games with a couple I met through CBF. They live a good 30 minutes away, and as we planned to get together they told us to show up at their house at 6:30. Instant awkwardness: I felt so strange and presumptuous telling them that we couldn’t transport ourselves. However, Ian and I enjoyed our excursion to Fitchburg — the couple has two amazingly cute little girls, who impressed me with their good behavior. We played two games, neither of which Ian and I had heard of (not surprising, since they had a closet full of unusual board games); Australia involved completing projects in Australia, while Alhambra required you to build the building La Alhambra. I never got the hang of Australia, but almost randomly chose moves that left me with a stunning lead. I eventually won the game, but didn’t have any clue how I’d done it. Turns out winning that way isn’t satisfying at all. Alhambra I understood more, but I did poorly. Regardless, we liked just spending time with an amiable Christian married couple. It felt like a breath of fresh air, compared to the tricky waters of college relationships.
I wish relationships could be more straightforward. What if I could tell somebody, Hey, I like you and I’d like to be your friend, and after that we trusted each other, could rely on one another, and feel comfortable together. But it’s so much harder than that: people introduce intrigues. How many times have I thought I’d found that, only to learn otherwise? Everybody hides things. We maneuver, manipulating and distrusting. I feel tired thinking about it, thinking that even in this Christian “family” I can’t even find a friend to call when I need a listening ear. We’re so human and flawed, we can’t even begin to love one another.
Today we went to the Fellowship Church. Aside from having a name that makes me want to snort in derision, it was good. My goal for this term is to disengage entirely from First Alliance and transfer totally to the Fellowship Church. A painful challenge, when the old ladies there hug us every week and tell us how much they love having us attend.