Day’s Verse:
For I am already being poured out as a drink offering…
2 Timothy 4:6

One of my coworkers, seeing me eating my free Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream Cone, immediately asked to see the box. She immediately turned it to the Nutrition Information and GROANED. Loudly. At my choice of ice cream, because (I am confident this elicited her groan) she read that it contains 380 calories, 180 of which come from fat.

This groan pissed me off and I wanted to smack her for it, because it drove all the deliciousness from my tongue and left me tasting only the bitter ashes of guilt (despite the six miles I rode in to work and the six miles I will ride back tonight, because I just read online that of course biking is nothing compared to running for a workout). If I can’t enjoy a freaking ice cream cone without condemnation and the resulting guilt, what can I enjoy? A plain rice cake?!

[Update 4:50]: One thing I appreciate about work, though: People hold doors here for you. Even when I could perfectly easily open the door for myself, they still hold the door. And when my hands are clearly full, or I have the cart to do a shuttle run, they go out of their way to make sure doors hinder me as little as possible.

9 thoughts on “Bite Me, You Obsessive Twit

  1. i dont really think theres a point in eating healthy ice cream.

    “this ice cream has no fat? why not?! i paid for fat. where is my fat?!”

    theres two types of eating, eating for sustinance, and eating to distract yourself from the existance of calorie counting coworkers. the second kind involves eating rich ice cream.

  2. *Gasp!* She said BOOBS!

    …Watch it, man, I can still delete or ban you. Or reinstate the monitoring. Santa’s still watching, so watch the language.

  3. Here is my favorite swear word from Red Dwarf:

    And here’s my favorite swearing phrase from Firefly:
    da-shiong bao-jah-shr duh la doo-tze

    which means the explosive diarrhea of an elephant.

    Also I like wuh duh ma huh ta duh fung-kwong duh wai-shung doh which means holy mother of god and all her wacky nephews.

  4. i got a postcard from africa today and now i have a swahili phrase ot share with you:

    poa kacheezie com ndezi

    which means, “cool and crazy like banana”

    it rhymes.


  5. your co-worker was just jealous that she could no eat the ice cream bar as she had not biked a total of 12 miles. That in its self is a reason to eat ice cream. You are too hard on yourself and only you can make yourself feel guilty, not the words spoken by someone else. Hugs, GMIL

  6. I’ll refrain from laying down the c-bomb on your coworker, but seriously, what an awful person she is. Nothing pisses me off more than scenes like that. MUST DERIDE WITH PROFANITY!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.