Day’s Verse:
Shi Shi Beach Sunset - Solo TreeHe made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said.
Acts 17:26-28

Sometimes I think I’m not meant for this kind of life. I sit in my 5’x5’ cube, in which the desk dominates by taking up fully half floorspace, on my gray exercise ball, staring at my little flatscreen monitor and think, Surely God made me for something more. I can feel that desire nudging me: Go out, achieve, be great! You are bigger than SOPs, bigger than reports with names like GVA00059AX, bigger than who signs this audit or getting the shuttle at 10:00 and 2:00. Riding on the train I feel this call to break out of the shuffling grind, throwing off the shakles of dependence on The System, to live a life of joy and excitement and self-expression.

Listening to that voice reverberating in my mind, I think: I was born for greater than this. I was born to name colors, or cars, or apartment complexes. I could be a Professional Gameshow Contestant or a Pigment Nomenclature Engineer. I will write the next trashy great American romance novel. I could become a circus performer who can put her ankles behind her head. I COULD BE GREAT!

5 thoughts on “Carpe…

  1. Your mind is mirroring mine right now. Every journal entry i’ve written since graduation seems to reverberate with “why am I here? isn’t there more than this 9-5 stuff?”… there’s got to be something more meaningful awaiting us, I guess having a few different jobs in the interim allows the time to figure out what we don’t want, so we can get a step closer to figuring out what we’re meant to do.

    In other words, I hear ya, sister!

  2. You are great, Katie!

    I had the exact same thoughts my first summer at Computer Associates, and I hit me: I don’t know if I’ll be able to do something of value if I stay a pure tech writer (for a big software company like CA, anyway).

    Now out here at law school, I feel like I at least have the _chance_ to do something of value. Of course…as a lawyer I could certainly do plenty of things with absolutely zero value (but plenty of monetary incentive), but I think I’ll be OK.

    And I think you will be too 🙂

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