Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.
Today my banana had a sticker that proudly proclaimed “200% Guarantee.” What does that even mean?
So yesterday we got donuts at work. Thinking ahead, I grabbed one and wrapped it up to save for today. All morning I’ve looked forward to a donut — riding up the hill in too high a gear, I kept telling myself “Donut at work, donut at work,” and it got me through some rather agonizing moments. I held off eating it until I got out of my shower; then I unwrapped it and bit into its powdered-sugar goodness…
Only to find that instead of being jelly-filled (as I expected, since it was powdered-sugared instead of covered in chocolate frosting), it was custard-filled. And it had sat out for over 24 hours at room temperature. Some background: As a kid I ate a custard-filled donut that had gone bad, and twelve hours later I was vomiting copiously for hours. It was awful. So it was with great disappointment, but no hesitation, that I threw a way the once-bitten donut. Thus died my donuty dream for breakfast.