The answer’s simple:
speak the truth,
avoid evil amusements.
This is how you raise your standard of living!
A safe and stable way to live.
A nourishing, satisfying way to live.
Riding up the fifth and steepest of seven hills on our 40-mile, 3000-feet-of-climbing bike ride (a slightly abridged version of the 7 Hills of Kirkland ride) this morning, we passed a house with a couple palm trees, decorated with round balls of Christmas lights up where coconuts might normally sit, in the front yard.
I said, “Who… [gasp gasp gasp] would ever… [gasp gasp gasp] plant… [gasp gasp gasp] a palm tree… [gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp] here?”
You may have noticed that on-bike conversations tend to employ lots of shorthand and even so stick to a bare minimum of syllables, often with many pauses between words or phrases.
Dad replied, “People… [gasp gasp gasp] sure do… [gasp gasp gasp] strange things. [gasp gasp gasp]”
The irony of his statement only made itself evident to me another quarter-mile further along as I stood up on the pedals, grinding away at a steep grade. Yes, people certainly do choose to do strange things sometimes, like riding up multiple ridiculously large hills for fun. For the record, I did have fun. There’s nothing like the sense of accomplishment when you finish an activity that pushes you beyond your boundaries.
And really, palm trees in Washington state is quite silly, and the round faux-coconut Christmas decorations… I mean, honestly.