Hangin Out

Well, I’m learning that free time & having a blog are a bad combination. Between 11:40 and 1:25 I have nothing to do at Clark but listen to my stomach growl so here I find myself in the computer lab playing around with my blog. For some reason our comments link refuses to work whether we use HaloScan or Blogspeak… Ah, for when things work the way they should!

Starship Troopers is an interesting read, and as I’m halfway through I think a comfy spot somewhere and that book would be better than overwhelming this blog.

– KF –

Starship Troopers & a New Monitor

It’s another day, my friends (the plural in the hopes that more than one person will be reading this). Pastor Lou, as his last day as our pastor at CCF said we ought to ask each morning, “Lord, what exciting new things will you show me to do today?” For me that is a pretty new concept, being happy and ready to face each day. Yet in James it says, “Consider it pure joy when faced with trial of every kind.” If every day is meant to be a trial, God has a reason for that. I daily fail to live this truth, yet that doesn’t make it any less true.

Indeed, this is in accordance with my resolve that when I reached Worcester (and here I am), I would find one beautiful thing every day, no matter what it is. To this end I have seen peaceful green spaces across from our apartment, happy people laughing together, beautifully maintained 100-year-old houses, and one picture of a By-the-Wind Sailor I have to say that I still feel that is the best thing that’s happened to me this whole month.

Another great thing that happened this month is my new $305 17″ flatscreen monitor. Just got it today. Holy cow, this new monitor is huge. I was having some issues, but when I switched it to highest 75 Hz and highest resolution it’s HOT. Except the dual monitor thing is a bit of an issue, since my other one can’t handle such performance. It’s still my baby, of course, been with me since the beginning… I guess I’ll just have to wait for my in-house tech help (read: Ian). Eric asked why we spent that much when my other monitor is perfect… All I could say was, “I’ve been wanting it since I got this video card, and we had the chance to buy it.” Happily he accepted that explanation and we moved on. I have to say, this monitor really does make my rather mediocre day. I was disappointed as usual to find that none of my “friends” were around, though I left a message on their whiteboard suggesting we hang out. Oh well… this is something I’m struggling with right now, and it won’t seem to resolve itself. Speaking of “resolve itself,” our comments link has randomly decided to konk out. If you have comments I’d suggest email, as it’s very reliable.

For me that has been the worst part of being married so far. I love Ian, and it’s absolutely the best thing to be married to him – but being away from Clark with no reliable transportation but my own feet is wreaking havoc on my other relationships. I desire to spend as much time as I can with them, but they seem so busy, and though I’m not there’s not much I can do. I can’t spend all day at Clark alone waiting to see them (though I have); I can’t walk over at night when they might be avaliable; Kristin isn’t interested in risking her virginity or at least wallet in driving over to WPI alone; I don’t know what other options I have. After a while I start feeling like they don’t care (probably not true), because if they did they would be willing to put some effort into maintaining our relationship. I don’t see much of that happening on their side… I’m sorry to say that after a while I start feeling bitter – and then I wonder why I should even try to maintain such relationships. I get depressed, lonely, and very apathetic about maintaining any relationships at all. In fact, I ask myself why I should even go to Clark if I only know 3 or 4 people there and the school doesn’t really have my desired major (journalism) anyway. Sometimes life seems so strange.

I now realize I’ve written not a blog but a biography. So to that end, I shall stop talking.

– KF –

Quick Note

Make Comments is up, but there’s something strange about the way the page loads that interferes with it. I don’t know enough HTML to fix it & Ian is trying his best, but we still aren’t having much luck. Two blogs on one page – without random scrollbars – is pretty difficult. If you have any brilliant ideas, IM us.

… Later…

All I can say is that I’ve married a very persistent and wonderful man. You all would be lucky to get somebody as absolutely excellent as he is.

– KF –

Saved!

After much diligent web-crawling, my intrepid husband has found a way to salvage our site from disaster. Though to tell the truth the worst that could happen is it would “go down,” or remain untouched – not that much of a disaster, as nobody knows about this site yet (“yet,” in the hopes that perhaps people will in the future). Also as a result of this I have begun to play around in HTML, which I quickly realized is a cumbersome and awkward method for communicating on the Internet. However, as Blogger.com uses HTML I shall too.

Please give us input on how you like the site! If, for instance, the colors clash – my green makes your eyes want to bug out and Ian’s blue makes you feel like stabbing yourself in the heart with a butter knife – do let us know. Also any improvements of color or style we will listen to and mock behind your back. I’m sorry the comments section is not up yet, but until it is feel free to email. I don’t get emails anyway, so that might just be exciting for me.

The day is shaping up to be a very nothing type day. I have high hopes that I will, in fact, do some work “later.” Who knows when that shall be. Fortunately this first part of the semester – A Term – has turned out to be something of a break for me. It’s easing into school, because despite the fact I do have work, for some reason it’s all quite easy. For instance, in math he just taught us The Quadratic Formula, which even an underdeveloped slug would have known since 7th grade. I’m sorry to admit that was the only class I placed into for math, and now as I am switching to being an English major, I don’t even need to take that class.

In fact, you might ask why I am taking 2 science classes and 1 math class when I plan on doing English. The answer is: don’t ask. I spent many hours agonizing over that sorry set of coincidences myself, and I’d rather not relive them by explaining it. The upside is that I have lots of free (read: “dead”) time and do actually enjoy my classes for the most part. The worst they are is boring, not excruciatingly difficult.

– KF –

And life continues

I’ve learned today that nothing goes as easily as it should. Never believe that marriage is easy; I didn’t expect it to be, and still it is harder than I expected. These comments stem from the fact that, even as you look at this site, it’s causing us more bother than it is worth. So many good ideas go down painfully; I think this two blogs/one page deal may be one of them. Scrollbars everywhere are unattractive as are vast white spaces and those appear to be the future of this blog if it remains dual.

Hopefully that’s not an indication of how our marriage will go.

My Entry into the Blogging World

Well – this is IT, as they say. By writing this I commit to blog with the hope that somebody besides me will read it occasionally. Frankly I’m not sure quite the correct way to go about this whole blogging thing, or at least how to begin it; I’ve been living all this time before, and it’s not as though I can miraculously review my life in a succinct paragraph like they might ask you to do in Biology.

Biology, my joy and my disappointment. I truly thought I would be a Biology major; I really did. Yet here I am, copping out and taking what some circles call a “soft degree” in English…. Hopefully. If I’m exceedingly lucky I will finish in another couple years. The question now becomes: does it matter if I finish in four years? Can I not just come home, for Washington will always be my home, and finish school somewhere there? I am not so committed to Clark as I was last year, for daily I see maybe one person I know or maybe two if I’m exceedingly lucky. All this to say that, like many other people at this point in their lives, I’m not sure where God is calling me to be. Or if He is calling me at all. I hear all these good Christians talk about God calling them to a career, or to a certain place, or He “gives them a heart for .” (Fill in the blank) Yet is that God? Do superimpose their desires onto God’s will, thinking to themselves, “I enjoy working on computers. That must be what God wants me to do with my life.”

My friends, I do not have the answers to the questions I ask. But through it all I also know that, where there is God—for surely there is, and He is alive—there is deep, abiding love. More than that I cannot say, but as He loves us so He will care for us one way or another.