Life in this Universe

Yes, it’s that time again: the time when all 3 of my professors put their evil scheming heads together and decide to have all our exams within four school days of each other. One tomorrow, one on November 4th, one on November 5th. I realize that this is a handy amount of material to test on, since in that time you can cover two (or, if you are my Geology professor, five) chapters. I can hardly complain; after all, I do alright on the exams, and my only pressure is to get an A on my Math exam to make up for my dismal performance on the last one. I have gotten 100% on all our quizzes also, so hopefully that will help.

My WPI class starts on Thursday. They do an odd thing where the first day of class, tomorrow, is actually a Friday schedule; this at least exempts me from worrying about that. Worry, because I am terrified that I will forget to attend that class all the time: such a creature of habit am I that I will probably just hang around Clark as usual until 1:00 and suddenly have a heart attack when I realize my WPI class started then. Ian has kindly offered to call me as a reminder, and embarrassing as that may feel I will probably have to take him up on that offer. Kind boy.

I have spent much time thinking about why we’re alive. Obviously the base reason is that my parents had a good night one August; but more than that, if somebody asked me why they were alive, what could I say? There’s the obviously Christian answer: “God has a plan for us, and that’s enough to know.” For a non-believer, what then? I cannot concieve of why one would bother to stay alive if you didn’t know that there was some reason you exist. I think many people make their own reasons: to make money, to become famous, to save peoples’ lives, to have fun. But if you are unhappy with life, why not just end it all? Perhaps that is why 30,622 people killed themselves in 2001, 712 of them in Washingon. They found this: that “The bleakness of the landscape is unimaginable. It is as friendless and alien as a Dali painting. Ordinary concerns, such as work or friends, have no place here. Futility muffles thought; time elongates cruelly. Who is to blame for this situation? Those with depression think it must be them. Pointlessness and self-loathing govern them. So the natural final step is suicide. People with depression don’t kill themselves to frighten an errant boyfriend. They kill themselves because it is the obvious and right thing to do at that point. It is the only positive step they can think of…” (from here). I know that feeling, and if I was braver perhaps I wouldn’t be here today…thank God I am, though, because life is so very worth living despite what hormones and emotions may say contrariwise.

I’m afraid that BCS – fine as that institution is – calluses us to the idea of Christianity. I left BCS feeling that Christianity was just something I “did,” not a real true belief. Church-going remained a holdover most of last year, and not attending forced guilt more than anything else. But when you strip away all the BCSishness of it, I find the most amazing thing: that cliche is true. More and more I am realizing personally that I don’t live for tomorrow, or to see my friends, or to graduate from college (??). I live for Christ, and to find where my life fits into His grand plan. Jeremiah 29:11 says it all: ” ‘I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ ” If that isn’t affirming and a good reason to live, I don’t know what is.

– KF –

We’re playing around with some stuff (if you’re EE or CS you’ll like that link) on this site… Right now it’s just the color of my links & color of our comments boxes. Check both out, and while you’re there maybe you want to make a comment!

– KF –


Wow, life is good. Today was 50 degrees and sunny, a lovely change after the *ahem* snow of earlier this week. The leaves are all in the last stages of falling and color-changing so the ground is coated sometimes past my ankle with bright, crunchy leaves. Ian and I went for a walk into the ‘burbs for over an hour, finding a lovely little house for sale; I estimate it would sell for between $150,000 and $250,000 – unimaginably cheap at home, but pretty standard around here. We dreamed about it for a bit, then came back down to earth.

Though I spent a long time studying, too, this walk really does perk up my day. It was relaxing and invigourating to be outside for a change, and also to realize that we used the day well, surely one of the few gorgeous days left in this fall. Sometimes I get a glimpse of why people like it so much here.

– KF –

Long Day = Short Blog

Funny how even just 3 days of class drains a body. Have been working lots & sleeping very poorly, much to Ian’s consternation. I have to edit a couple things and then will be able to submit my internship app to the Seattle Times; I couldn’t find anything about internships on the King County Journal’s site so I emailed the head of the HR department, who replied saying she forwarded my inquiry to an editor. Hopefully somebody I contact will be interested. Please, God. Had a worse-than-normal friend sighting week: only met with Lesley once for lunch, and she was it. I miss having friends; I do hear rumors of Kristin and Jos visiting on Sunday, but I try not to get my hopes up too much. Such good things don’t happen to me.

Vangie and I beat Luke and Ian at Risk by being girls: we split the board in half, agreed to never attach each other, and conquered – also flummoxing Luke to no end. He couldn’t understand why she let me have all of Europe, Africa, and South America, and why I didn’t try to take Asia or Australia or her water colonies. The power of being a girl is we’re happy to share, so actually winning is less of a priority. I think Luke’s brain nearly exploded trying to get it. Ian wisely kept his peace and said nothing.

– KF –

Life’s Tough Out Here!

Boy, I never realized what a lot of maintainance an apartment would require! First we put in 3 straight days of backbreaking cleaning (think: me in deep dark corners sweating to stick down covering on our ugly plywood shelving) in August; continual cleaning up after The Boys; and this week alone we’ve cleaned up from a dropped pickle jar (me mopping the kitchen; it seemed muddier after I did that than before, raising questions of the floor’s actual composition), chipped out the freezer in an effort equal to an arctic expedition; and now our toilet remained persistently clogged (envision Ian laboring away with a tiny plunger and a waterfall to rival Niagra coming over the edge). Happily we have found ourselves equal to all these challenges, and we’re still able to find energy to feed ourselves!

– KF –


First snowy day of the year – mark it – October 23rd, though Kristin said it snowed at 7:30 yesterday morning, nobody else I know was up to verify that. Peoples’ reactions have been quite varied; I entered the shuttle this morning after 10 minutes of shoulder-hunched waiting, said “Good morning!” as usual, and Bob the driver growled, “What’s good about it?!” On the other hand, many people seem enthusiastic about winter’s onset judging from the number of away messages of this type: “SNOW! :D” As for myself, I don’t mind either way just so long as our hill remains walkable and I find my lost favorite pair of gloves (hunch: I may have left them on the shuttle where I leave everything important).

Class let out at 11:15 today. Eleven fifteen, and it officially ends at 11:40! -for you math people, that’s not 40 factorial, but an exclamation of surprise. She asked, “Would anybody mind if we broke early?” and the entire class started chuckling because it was so unexpected. I’m all for that, especially since we have an exam next Tuesday and I’d be happy to have the extra time to…er…goof off, I suppose. I have to meet with my new advisor later today anyway, so really most of my time is somewhat wasted. Who said I was a responsible adult, anyway?

I need practice editing writing, people! If you have anything you’re writing that needs a critical (in-training) editor, send it to me – I like doing it and people seem to get A’s when I edit their papers. Hmmmmm. Speaking of editing, I’m applying for an internship right now at the Seattle Times. I lucked out last night running across mention of it on their site: lucked indeed, because the application deadline is November 1st for next summer’s internships. Wish me luck, and send me those papers you’re writing!

As a thrilling side note, my Marine Biology professor told us that the softball team she played on called themselves the Broadcast Spawners. Some people are just sick.

– KF –

Freezer escapades, oh my!

Today I have titled Defrost The Freezer Day in honor of us doing just that action on our 50,000,000-year-old (at a conservative estimate) fridge. Only it wasn’t so much “defrosting” as chipping a glacier out of the fridge with a screwdriver and hammer. There were literally several inches – no I’m not exaggerating this time – of ice that had accumulated on the top and bottom of the freezer. This is ignoring, for the moment, the 3″ or so of frost that liberally covered all the walls. I have taken a couple of pictures, one of the ice itself, and one of Ian at work.

I can’t say that living in an apartment is boring

Also, you want to read our special AnalogCafe forum!

– KF –