If I Had A Million Dollars

Day’s Verse:
When you grab all you can get, that’s what happens:
the more you get, the less you are.

Proverbs 1:19

I could buy a fur coat, but not a real fur coat, because that’s cruel.*

Or I could buy the 20-foot animatronic triceratops from Hammacher Schlemmer and still have $650,000 left.

Receiving the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog always gives me pause. For example, on the same page that lists the triceratops, they list the hand fitness trainer ($29.95), the under seat rolling carry on ($99.95), and the cat’s phantom mouse teaser ($29.95), among other items. It just makes me wonder what they’re thinking, not just about the products — although I have to wonder, what’s wrong with a squeezy ball, a backpack, and a piece of string, respectively — but about why they put these things together on a page towards the middle of the catalog. Is there some secret internal logic to the product organization and display that I’m just not fathoming? This will keep me up at night, you know. Continue Reading >>