Ostrichizing

Day’s Verse:
This is the kind of life you’ve been invited into, the kind of life Christ lived. He suffered everything that came his way so you would know that it could be done, and also know how to do it, step-by-step. …He used his servant body to carry our sins to the Cross so we could be rid of sin, free to live the right way. His wounds became your healing. You were lost sheep with no idea who you were or where you were going. Now you’re named and kept for good by the Shepherd of your souls.
1 Peter 2:21-25-ish

My heart has been hurting lately for many reasons that I won’t be getting into here, but that have kept me from posting for the last couple weeks, too. Instead of going into the depressing details, I’m going to share some really excellent Other Katie emails I’ve gotten lately.

From: Dexter Fugerson
Date: Tue, Mar 19, 2013 at 7:54 AM
Subject: Paper inventory
To:

White
2 cases ,1 white legal
Blue
1 case ,8 reams of legal
Pink
2 cases ,4 reams,0 legal
Yellow
1 case , 5 reams , 0 legal
Green
3 reams, 0 leagal

Maybe he meant to send this to Katie Fugerson? In any case, it’s handy that I know how many reams of yellow paper they have. I’m sure it’ll come in useful any day now.

From: Dexter Fugerson
Date: Thu, Mar 28, 2013 at 9:14 AM
Subject: Dexter’s resume
To: Katie Ferguson

See attached…
[Dexter Resume 2(3).docx attached]

Not sure why I’m getting Dexter’s resume; maybe he’s considering changing his career from paper-counter to something more challenging, like paper-sorter?

Several from SiriusXM:

From: SiriusXM
Date: Fri, Mar 22, 2013 at 2:29 PM
Subject: SiriusXM Requests Your Feedback
To: [me]

Dear Valued SiriusXM Customer,

On behalf of SiriusXM, we have a special opportunity for you to participate in a survey about the call you made to our Listener Care Department on 03/21/2013. SiriusXM is focused on delivering excellent customer service and therefore, would like to include your valuable opinion on how well we took care of your most recent need. The survey takes less than 5 minutes to complete.

Please take a moment to complete the survey now since this link will only be available until 12:00 noon EST on 03/25/2013.

Please click HERE to take this survey.

If the above link is not clickable, you may copy and paste or type the URL below into your browser window:
[link redacted]

Thank you for your participation.

SiriusXM Listener Care Department

From: SiriusXM
Date: Tue, Apr 2, 2013 at 4:20 AM
Subject: Email Address Confirmation Needed
To: [me]

Viewing on a mobile device? Click here to view.
If you are unable to see the message below, click here to view.

New Email Confirmation — Action Required!

You are receiving this notification because the email: [my email address] has been recently provided to SiriusXM. In order to continue receiving SiriusXM communications at this email address, including programming updates, exclusive events, special offers and more, you must click the link below.

» Click Here To Confirm Now

This email was sent to you from SiriusXM Satellite Radio. For more information on why it was sent, please visit our Corporate website at siriusxm.com/emailconfirmation.

To ensure that you continue receiving SiriusXM emails, please add us to your address book or safe list. To unsubscribe, please click here.

NOTE: Please allow up to 10 business days for your preferences to be applied. You may still receive service-related emails if the email address is associated with your subscriber account.

Have you moved or changed your billing information? Please take a minute now to update your account information.

You can read our entire Privacy Policy.

Sirius XM Radio Inc.
1221 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020
www.siriusxm.com

© 2013 Sirius XM Radio Inc. Sirius, XM and all related marks and logos are trademarks of Sirius XM Radio Inc. All other marks, channel names and logos are the property of their respective owners. All rights reserved.

Two days later, I received the same email from SiriusXM, this time with the subject “Last Chance to Confirm your Email Address with SiriusXM.” Let’s hope they were serious (har har) and I won’t get any more emails from them. The thought occurs now that I should’ve done the survey and complained about getting emails from them… but this is clearly an Other Katie putting her own email address wrong into their system, so while Katie deserves a slap, SiriusXM remains (probably) blameless.

From: Jax Berrios
Date: Fri, Apr 5, 2013 at 8:50 AM
Subject: Roller Rebels on TV + 4/13 Bout info!
To: ?Robert Berrios?

Set your DVR’s we will be on TV. And et your tickets from me. Only one week left. 10 dollar tickets!!!

Also subscribe to this email for more update!!

Namaste & Blessed Be

Jax AKA WUSHU SUGAR #6 Long Island Roller Rebels

Begin forwarded message:

From: Long Island Roller Rebels Derby News
Date: April 5, 2013, 11:12:04 AM EDT
To: irish_berrios@yahoo.com
Subject: UPDATE: Roller Rebels on TV + 4/13 Bout info!
Reply-To: info@longislandrollerrebels.com

[There follows a long, incredibly fuschia-colored HTML newsletter all about the Long Island Roller Rebels, which I will not subject you to]

Jax Berrios has sent me any number of wrong emails. At first I tried to correct her, but she’s really persistent, so I just ignore all her emails about monthly dues. Presumably at some point she’ll talk to the Other Katie about her failure to pay team dues, and all will become clear. I can hope.

Also, note those little question marks next to Robert Berrios. Those are hearts. WHY are there hearts around Robert Berrios’s name? I don’t care if he’s your Siamese twin connected at the heart, no self-respecting email user would do that.

Now, the weirdest Other Katie I’ve gotten in a while, more because of how it happened than because of its content. This morning I received a Google Chat request from Christine Owen at 29prime.com. My spam radar immediately went off — seriously, 29prime? If that doesn’t sound like an online porn outlet… Besides, I don’t know any Christine Owens, and I’d never accept a chat request from a stranger — and of course I denied the chat request. Shortly thereafter I received the following Other Katie email:


From: Christine Owen <[redacted]@29prime.com>
Date: Thu, Apr 11, 2013 at 8:46 AM
Subject: Meeting at 1pm
Subject: Meeting at 1pm
To: [Me]

Hi Kattie,

Russ said he will be available to meet with you at 1pm, so just come on in.


Best Regards,

Christine Owen
Senior Executive Assistant

Work: [redacted]
Cell: [redacted, tempted as I am to post this for the entire Internet]
Email: [redacted]
Website: www.29Prime.com

I’m not joking, and don’t call me Kattie. I sincerely hope that this is Christine’s careless typo, and that no Other Katie goes around calling herself Kattie. Ouch. I’m also afraid 1 pm came and went and I totally missed the meeting; for this one, though, I had mercy and informed Christine of her mistake, so hopefully she was able to contact the Other Katie (Kattie?) more effectively the second time around.

And last but not least, it seems I’m not the only Other Katie having a bad couple weeks:

From: [Redacted]
Date: Thu, Apr 11, 2013 at 11:30 AM
Subject: [Company Name] Claims Services – 1999 Toyota Tercel settlement (claim# [redacted])
To: [me]
Cc: [Sender, redacted]

Dear Katie,

Thank you for taking the time to speak with me today. We have determined the value of the 1999 Toyota Tercel, which was damaged beyond repair on March 26, 2013, to be $2,021.57.

Attached is an Automobile Proof of Loss form. Please complete, sign and return this document along with the signed transfer portion of your ownership. Once we receive these documents, payment will be issued.

It is mportant for your protection that you return these forms as quickly as possible. Any liability charges or expenses incurred against the vehicle remain your responsibility until the ownership is transferred.

Please contact your broker service representative at 1-800-267-6847 to discuss any coverage that may still apply to this vehicle.

If you have any questions, please call me at [redacted number].

Sincerely,
[Redacted]

Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail.

First of all, I’ve redacted a lot more of this stuff because it’s a bit more personal and serious, and possibly not appropriate for the Internet. Hopefully this is anonymous enough. That said: See? My life could be a lot more depressing. I could be driving a 1999 Toyota Tercel worth $2,000, and then get into an accident that totals it (I’m guessing that “totaling” in this case would mean having to replace, say, the bumper, given the value of the car). That’s seriously a bummer. I guess I should let Jason Belben know he’s barking up the wrong tree, since Katie probably doesn’t need her life to get any harder than it already is.

Also, note: This is a new Other Katie! Waterloo, Ontario. So now we’re in the US, UK, and Canada. Go Other Katies!

Other Katie Bonanza

I’ve been quite remiss in sharing the amusing Other Katie emails I continue to receive. Here are a few of the ones I’ve received lately, omitting the zillions of LivingSocial and Thirty-One emails I get. No matter how many times I unsubscribe, some dumb Other Katie keeps re-subscribing using my email address. Katie, seriously, give me a break!

Some Other Katie has the world’s worst photographer friend/relative, as I can attest from the following email:

On Mon, Nov 12, 2012 at 6:48 PM, pdr < [redacted]@mac.com> wrote:
Katie,
Here are my photos from your party. If you want any printed, let me know the size, etc.

Love, Grandma

Begin forwarded message:

From: pdr < [redacted]@mac.com>
Subject: last one
Date: 10 November, 2012 7:09:07 PM CST
To: Bob Ferguson < [redacted]@sasktel.net>

I can hardly quibble about Grandma sending an email to the wrong person, though. At least she’s trying to use the Internet, even if she’s only marginally successful. And, on the bright side, Other Katie seems to be getting out and spending time with her family, which I do approve of.

Other Katie seems to be looking for housing in Texas again:

Custer Park Apartments Prospect web site information
KATIE FERGUSON,

Dear KATIE FERGUSON,

Thank you for registering for a Resident Portal account. Resident Portal is a convenient way to take advantage of the expanded online services we offer

Sincerely,
Leasing Staff

If you already live with us, please go here Click Here
Login name * [redacted]
Password * [redacted]
* You may log into the Resident Portal by using the same user name and password for your application process.

If you have any questions please feel free to contact us at (972) 596-0908 .

3400 Custer Road Plano TX 75023 (972) 596-0908

Actually, it’s rather odd that Katie needs to rent an apartment, because back in September a real estate agent (from whom I’ve received a number of erroneous emails, and who I already tried to correct twice) forwarded me this title information email, with the PDF of the official title attached:

On Mon, Sep 24, 2012 at 9:44 AM, Shantanu Narayen wrote:

[body of email blank]
Sent from my iPhone

Begin forwarded message:

From: Liberty Title Company < [redacted]@aol.com>
Date: September 24, 2012, 11:49:53 EDT
To: Shantanu Narayen
Subject: Deed and Warranty

When you fill out the Dedd you can call me if you need any halp. Thanks, Carri

Liberty Title Company
655 W. Morse Blvd., Suite 112
Winter Park, FL 32789
Tel: 407-629-5533 Fax: 407-629-5528
Email: [redacted]@aol.com

I hope Carri is better at doing titles than she is at spelling. I’m not sanguine about that, though, since the email address is at AOL.

The next email requires a certain amount of explanation. At first I thought Katie Ferguson was looking to get a job with Hyatt, but then I realized no; Katie works for the Hyatt as an HR lackey, and she blind carbon copied herself on emails she sent out to prospective new hires. Except instead of bcc’ing herself, she carbon copied me… six different times. Which is the worst kind of Other Katie email: When Katie herself types in the wrong email address.

On Mon, Jan 7, 2013 at 4:44 PM, Human Resources


wrote:
Good Afternoon,

You are invited for an opportunity to interview on Friday, January 11, 2013 from 2:00pm – 4:30pm at Hyatt Regency La Jolla. When you arrive, you will park in the parking garage. Please go to Mykonos AB meeting room, which is located on the 2nd floor level of the hotel.

Please come dressed for success to interview with our managers. Please bring your resume. Interviews will take place on a first-come, first-serve basis, so please be advised there may be a wait.

Our dream is for you to love our company and the people you work with so much that you decide to join the ranks as part of the 75% of our associates who are promoted from within to supervisory and management levels either in our hotel or any other Hyatt hotel.

Hyatt is a place where high expectations aren’t just met, they are exceeded. It’s a place of outstanding rewards, were talent opens doors to exciting challenges in the hospitality industry. It’s a place where career opportunities are as unlimited as your imagination. Discover your place to shine in our warm, respectful, and inclusive culture.

You’re more than welcome.

Please RSVP by Wednesday, January 8th with your name and position to [redacted]@hyatt.com.

Warm Regards,

Katie Ferguson
Human Resources Manager
Hyatt Regency La Jolla
3777 La Jolla Village Drive
San Diego, CA 92122

Whoa – I just realized that this could be the same Other Katie who signed up for AdultFriendFinder and put my email in instead. It’s the right geographical region, and she does have a history of typing her own email wrong. If so, Other Katie really needs to get her head in the game, because I know way more about her work and sex life than any stranger should, and it’s entirely her fault.

Fortunately, Other Katie is in good company — or at least international company. I recently received an email from O2, a telecom in the UK, asking how I liked my wireless service. And back in October, I got yet another email in German:

2012/10/12 Andreas Klewe < [redacted]@issw.uni-heidelberg.de>
Liebe HochschulsportlerInnen,

das Wintersemester 2012/13 beginnt für den Hochschulsport am 15. Oktober und wir werden wieder vorher unsere bewährte Online-Kursanmeldung für die gebührenpflichtigen Sportkurse durchführen.

Ab diesem Semester ist für Studierende und Mitarbeiter der Universität/ PH sowie alle Nutzer mit gelbem Bedienstetensportausweis (auch Klinikum & DKFZ) ausschließlich eine bargeldlose Bezahlung mit der CampusCard des Studentenwerk Heidelbergs möglich. Bitte sorgen Sie für ein entsprechendes Guthaben auf Ihrer Karte, da wir keine Aufladestation (Kartenaufwerter) besitzen, sondern lediglich abbuchen können.

Die Online-Anmeldezeiten im WS 2012/13:
– für alle Kurse: ab Sonntag, 14. Oktober, 7.00 Uhr

Ihre Buchung muss dann innerhalb von zwei Werktagen im Hochschulsportsekretariat INF 700 bezahlt werden.
Sie benötigen:
1.) CampusCard
2.) ausgedruckte Buchungsbestätigung
3.) gültigen Studentenausweis/Bedienstetensportausweis/Gästekarte
4.) aktuelles Passbild für Kraft- und Spinningkurse.

Bitte denken Sie an ihre alten Ausweise, die verlängert werden. Dann geht es rascher.

Die Sonderöffnungszeiten des Hochschulsportsekretariats:
Montag, 15. Oktober: 10.00 – 20.00 Uhr
Dienstag bis Freitag, 16. Oktober – 19. Oktober: 17.00 – 20.00 Uhr

Während des gesamten WS: 15.Oktober 2012 – 07. Februar 2013:
Di, Mi. Do. vormittags von 10.15 – 12.15 Uhr
Mo, Do abends von 17.30 – 19.30 Uhr

Aktuelle Informationen wie Kursausfälle oder neue Sportangebote gibt es täglich auf unserer homepage: http://www.hochschulsport.uni-hd.de, über facebook („Hochschulsport Heidelberg“) und auf Twitter („Hochschulsport HD“).

Wir wünschen allen HochschulsportlerInnen ein sportliches und erfolgreiches Wintersemester 2012/13.

Matthias Wolf
Leiter Hochschulsport
Universität Heidelberg

In addition to remaining internationally connected, Other Katie finally sprang for some TV, which may mean that I’ll stop getting her Redbox receipts. (I don’t think much of her taste in movies, let me tell you!)

On Tue, Nov 27, 2012 at 5:41 PM, Order Confirmation wrote:

Your order confirmation number is : 026-5130728

You ordered:

TV – $49.95 Monthly
Install Price – $19.95 (Once)

That price seems reasonable. More reasonable than Darron Edwards Jr.’s sending me three emails in a row with InDesign files attached. Also more reasonable than another Other Katie providing Sears with the wrong email address, and then being rejected for the job(s) she applied to there.

On Mon, Dec 3, 2012 at 10:51 PM, wrote:
Dear KATHLYN,

Thank you for expressing interest in opportunities with Sears Holdings Corporation!

As you know, matching applicants with the right positions requires a unique combination of candidate experience, job requirements and timing. Your application that was active in our database has expired and while we may not have made a match for you during the time that has passed since you’ve applied, we would like to introduce you to other great companies who may be able to give you the position you seek, right now.

Sears Holdings Corporation is a founding member of AllianceQ – a partnership of leading companies collaborating to increase our ability to find the world’s top talent. It’s an easy, free and confidential service. Simply share your background and what you desire in a new job. Every day you will be automatically and anonymously considered for thousands of opportunities with other leading employers, including those current or future openings at Sears Holdings Corporation.

To join AllianceQ or for more information, visit: AllianceQ.com/shc

To review current Sears Holdings Corporation openings and to reapply directly with us, visit:
searsholdings.com/careers

Please do not reply to this email if you have questions (your reply will not be responded to), instead contact the Human Resources department at the location you applied to.

Again, thank you for your interest in Sears Holdings Corporation and we hope you will consider us for future opportunities.

Sincerely,

SHC Talent Acquisition Team
Sears Holdings Corporation

And, penultimate but not by any means least, we have the classic “coworker inadvertent email typo” series of Other Katie emails.

On Tue, Dec 11, 2012 at 2:50 PM, Thompson Cindy < [redacted]@quarrytile.com> wrote:
Katie—this is Cindy. I am writing this up for Michelle. I am including some of the new colors that will be taking over for Citrus, Mandarin and Scarlet. They might want to consider some of them. We are phasing out the old colors.
—–Original Message—–
From: Laine Michelle
Sent: Tuesday, December 11, 2012 2:07 PM
To: Thompson Cindy
Subject: FW: Jefferson Houston tile samples

Can you do this for me?

M
—–Original Message—–
From: Katie Ferguson Gray [mailto:[redacted].daltile@gmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, December 11, 2012 1:28 PM
To: Laine Michelle
Subject: Fwd: Jefferson Houston tile samples

Hi Michelle!

Can I get the samples below sent direct to my client?

Can you send what you can in a 3×6 but if that’s N/A you can send 2x2s or 4x4s. She would like at least one 3×6.

Please let me know. My FedEx is [redacted]. Please send 2nd Day.

Thanks!

Katie

Katie Ferguson Gray | Architectural Representative
Daltile | Southwest Region
2728 Bell St. | New Orleans, LA 70119
Phone: 504.415.3383
Fax: 504.488.3383
Mail: [redacted]@daltile.com
www.daltile.com

Begin forwarded message:

From: Brittney Everett < [redacted]@concordia.com>
Date: December 11, 2012 11:17:43 AM CST
To: Katie Ferguson Gray < [redacted].daltile@gmail.com>
Subject: Jefferson Houston tile samples

Hi Katie,

Thank you again for coming in the other week. Such a clever way to get to know the different carpet and tile options. Very fun.

So I would like to request the following samples:

-Semi-Gloss Color Trends
Totally tangerine
Citric bloom
Go Green
Electric blue
Sea breeze
Chalkboard
Plum Crazy
-Natural Hues
Sunburst
Kiwi
Mandarin
Citrus
Aegean
Regency Blue

I’m thinking of making each bathroom one of these colors, 3×6 staggered vertical subway tiles up to about 7 or 8 feet, with a light gray grout. The sink area in the bathroom is open to the hallway—no doors–so the tile will wrap around the wall out to the hallway. Just wanted to let you know what I’m thinking. These colors may end up correlating with the “grade house” colors (ie. 3rd and 4th is a gradehouse, 5th and 6th is gradehouse, etc).

If it’s easier to send 2×2 tiles since I am requesting so many, that’s fine. Would be nice to get at least one 3×6 to show the client the size though. Is it possible to get these before next Tuesday?

Thank you!

Brittney Everett
LEED AP

concordia
201 St. Charles Ave., Ste 4318 | New Orleans, LA 70170
Office | 504 262 8184 Mobile | 504 756 2270
www.concordia.com

P Think Green before printing this e-mail.

Instead of thinking green before printing the email, I figured I’d think kiwi. Or maybe Aegean, Go Green, or Sea Breeze. On the bright side, though, this Other Katie seems to have some talent towards interior design. Maybe I could get her to help out with our house.

And, last but not least, I’m happy to say that at least one of us has some personality. The following is long, but worth posting in its entirety if only for the names of the folks involved, so I’ve put most of it under the fold. Apparently, an Other Katie is a roller derby lady with Ladies of Laceration on Long Island.

On Tue, Jan 22, 2013 at 8:21 AM, Jax Berrios wrote:
Question. I know dolly has attendance for Thursday. So she will get that over. So counting the rules class I should have 5.

I know I need to skate as much as possible but it’s so hard to make Saturdays and I need all the credit I can get. Thanks again

Namaste & Blessed Be

Jax

Continue reading “Other Katie Bonanza”

Other Katie Tries to Get Laid

Day’s Verse:
Her whole way of life is doomed;
every step she takes brings her closer to hell.
No one who joins her company ever comes back,
ever sets foot on the path to real living.

Proverbs 2:18-19

I was going to write a post about being pregnant, but I’ve had an Other Katie experience that is infinitely more interesting. I’m still kind of boggling at it, actually.

Yesterday evening, I received the following email:

Dear [Redacted],

Thanks for joining Adult FriendFinder. Please login instantly to activate
your account and start mingling with hot and sexy people.

Username: [redacted]
Password: [redacted]

You can also log in automatically using this link:
==> [redacted]

Until you sign in, hot hook-ups and friends won’t be able to view your profile,
so what are you waiting for? Login now and you could get laid by tonight!

Sincerely,

The Adult FriendFinder Team

Adult FriendFinder
220 Humboldt Ct, Sunnyvale, CA 94089
————————————————-
This email was sent to you in association with the member,
[redacted], on Adult FriendFinder. If you think you’ve received this email
in error, please click on the following link to remove your email
address from our database:
[redacted]
————————————————-

At first I thought it was spam, but no, it included a user name and password. Some Other Katie had signed up at this nasty hookup site, and typed in MY email address. At first I thought it was funny, and I left it be.

Then today I got another email:

Subject: New message from ‘Spicynsexi’ at Adult FriendFinder
Dear [Redacted],

You have a private message waiting for you from ‘Spicynsexi’ at Adult FriendFinder! Spicynsexi wants to get to know you better and is waiting for your reply.

Read Now

To retrieve your message:
• Log on to Adult FriendFinder. Your username is ‘[redacted]’ (your password can be requested from the site).
• Click on the personal Message Center mailbox on the upper left hand side of the main page.
• Click on the message to read and respond to it.
Premium members get one-step direct links to log on and read their messages. Upgrade now at adultfriendfinder.com.

Sincerely,
The Adult FriendFinder Team

Almost immediately, another email landed in my inbox, this one even more disturbing:

Subject: Your Sexy Match is Here!
Your Sexy Match

View Erotic Photos on Site

sxyitalianabbw
30-year-old woman from Germantown, Wisconsin.
(1 photo)

Contact Her

Add to Hotlist

Check me out
————————————————-

Wait a second. Other Katie is lesbian?! And now I am getting her lesbian hookup emails?!!!

Oh no.

No, no, no.

Thanks, but NOT my cup of tea, not by a long shot.

Clearly I can’t leave it be; I have to unsubscribe, or, better yet, shut down the account entirely. No way am I getting endless emails from a super-sketchy site devoted to helping lesbian Katie get laid fast. I’m all for Katie finding…um…friends, but not using my email address. EW.

I logged in and tried to disable the account, but unfortunately Katie showed at least a little bit of smarts and had already changed the auto-generated password to something memorable for her. Instead, I had to settle for clicking the “wrong email” link at the bottom of the initial email, changing the email settings to remove my email from the database, and confirming that no, I didn’t want any OTHER nasty hookup-related emails.

Only time will tell if it worked, but having had to interact with that website at all, even to unsubscribe, makes me feel like I need to go wash my hands. So excuse me, I’m going to go do that now. Meanwhile, don’t forget, I post all the Other Katie emails on the Other Katie Lost & Found.

Other Katie Emails Get a Permanent Online Home

Day’s Verse:
Don’t hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it’s safe from moth and rust and burglars. It’s obvious, isn’t it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.
Matthew 6:19-21

OK, folks, I’ve created a special simple Tumblr blog exclusively for Other Katie emails, and I’ve added three new Other Katie emails that I received in the last few days. You can find it at otherkatie.tumblr.com. It’s intended to be totally bare-bones, and I still need to find a way to integrate it into this blog, but it’s out there now. I’ll just be updating it as I receive Other Katie emails, and I may mention it on this blog occasionally, but the Other Katie email documentation is going to become much sparser here from now on.

A quick note on Steve Jobs’ passing. Many, many people have said something about it, and there’s no disputing his influence. I found this New York Times article most insightful. Here’s the ad from 1984 that it refers to.

It does seem that Apple has facilitated that very future that it said it would prevent.

Yet More Other Katies

Day’s Verse:
“And don’t say anything you don’t mean. … You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, ‘I’ll pray for you,’ and never doing it, or saying, ‘God be with you,’ and not meaning it.
Matthew 5:33-34ish

It’s been a while since I updated my Other Katie Files, and I’ve had a few doozies lately. For those of you unaware of the Other Katie situation, check out these previous posts:

  1. May 7, 2009: Would the Real Katie Ferguson Please Stand Up?
  2. October 12, 2009: Another Chapter in The Other Katie Saga
  3. December 4, 2009: Doings and Goings-On
  4. January 4, 2010: The Truth Revealed!
  5. July 28, 2010: The Other Katie, Redux
  6. March 26, 2011: Identity: More of the Other Katie

Before I get to the latest Other Katies, I’d like to point out the SSA’s really interesting Baby Name Popularity website, which gives all manner of data on baby names. As a result, I now know that in 1984, my birth year, the name Katie was 44th in popularity; Kathleen (my full name) was 71st; Kaitlyn was 90th, with other spelling variations falling lower, but still frequent; Katherine was 90th anc Catherine was 69th. All this results in lots and lots of women in their late 20s walking around with the name Katie, or something similar.

For you graphical types, here’s a chart of the popularity of the name Kathleen since I was born. Low numbers = more popular.

The good news is that now, if I had a girl and named her Kathleen (aside from the confusion of my daughter and me having the same name), she wouldn’t have a zillion other Katies in her classes.

I remember one time I was at camp and shared a cabin with like 5 or 6 other Katies. It was terrible. I quickly stopped responding to my name.

Another time, I called and made a dentist appointment. When I walked in, the receptionist was astonished to see me: She expected their patient Katie Ferguson, the 3-year-old.

So, latest in the Other Katie experiences: Google Plus mistaken identity shenanigans. Within the last week, I’ve had probably 15 people find and follow me on Google Plus — all perfect strangers. Since I’m not inherently interesting, I have to assume they think they’re following some Other Katie. Presumably they’ll stop following me when they realize I’m me.

From the Other Katie mailbox, I have 12 emails of baby pictures from somebody’s iPhone, plus another four miscellaneous emails from that same person; one Recipe.com referral; and two emails from Ann, who hasn’t yet figured out that I’m not the right Katie.

Loved your cute invite…I won’t be able to come as you know but do need your mailing address so I can send you invite for the 29th..hope that it works out and you can come..would still love for you to join us whenever that weekend..dinner or just hanging out..

Talk soon!

Ann

I almost replied to this with some snarky response, but Ian wisely counseled against it. The next Ann email was shorter and less easy tempting on the facetious-response front.

Found matt’s baby pictures..will send on day after tommorrow as owen going top get duplicated..my sister has some and others will mail on to you..hopefully!

Ann

My only question is why on earth they apparently have chosen to use film for their baby pictures. How quaint.

In fact, babies seem to be a theme from this spate of Other Katie emails. I got another totally separate email from Jill with a PDF attachment called “Hi I’m Ryder,” and it was yet another doggone baby picture/announcement (those parents had terrible taste in names, since their son will now spend his life mistaken for a moving company).

Another email with a PDF attachment was a Citation Report from Dartmouth College for a Katherine E. Ferguson ’10, whose work in Environmental Studies 7 earned her professor’s accolades. I always was a good student — glad to see Other Katie is keeping it up.

And, just to spice things up, I learned that I have a 2006 VW GTI.

Dear Katie Ferguson,

We have completed the service(s) scheduled for your 2006 VOLKSWAGEN GTI.

Thanks for using our online scheduling solution!
Sincerely,
BOMMARITO CADILLAC MAZDA VOLKSWAGEN ST PETER
(636) 928-2300

BOMMARITO CADILLAC MAZDA VOLKSWAGEN ST PETER
4190 North Service Road
St. Peters, Missouri 63376

Note: This is an automated message and please do not reply to it.

I didn’t reply to the email, but that one I actually called the number because I wanted to be sure the Other Katie got her car back. The people at the dealership were confused by my call but promised to take my email out of their database. They failed, though, because moments after my call, I got an email survey from them asking about my service experience. I seriously wonder sometimes what I could get away with, though. Could I have picked up the car, somehow…?

And, let’s see, what else. Some Other Katie was looking for a place in Texas for a while; Charles Owen sent me a couple emails like this:

Subject: Tarrytown Area Leases
These are the only 2 under $1100 month in that area.Both available 8/1
Sincerely,
http://actris.mlxchange.com/DotNet/Pub/EmailView.aspx?r=182078746&s=AUS&t=AUS

Then there’s the one with the subject Fwd: 1120_FAM25101: Final Interview Questions (Fam 2) Tina, Becky, Liz, Perla. That email came from Tina, and went thus:

To find your love language, just google it!

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: “[becky]” <[redacted]@acu.edu>
Date: Feb 27, 2011 11:31 PM
Subject: 1120_FAM25101: Final Interview Questions (Fam 2) Tina, Becky, Liz, Perla
To:

I have attached the final interview questions with revisions as suggested by Prof. Wages. They are easy to attach or copy/paste to an e-mail if you want to e-mail participants.

Unless I hear back from Prof. Wages, you should be able to begin interviewing. Please have all interviews done by March 28 and that should give us a least 3 to 4 weeks to process the information, etc.

Let me know if you have any questions!

Becky

There are just so darn many Katie Ferguson emails from the last 6 months or so. Since I started keeping Other Katie emails in November 2008, I’ve received 155 emails intended for somebody else. It’s crazy. I’ve been considering starting a separate blog, or perhaps making a space on this blog, entirely devoted to Other Katie encounters. What do you think?

Identity: More of the Other Katie

Day’s Verse:
Don’t brashly announce what you’re going to do tomorrow; you don’t know the first thing about tomorrow.
Proverbs 27:1

Remember The Other Katie? I’ve mentioned The Other Katie phenomena before on my blog (here, here, here, and here, to be exact).

I continue to periodically receive Other Katie emails, but earlier this week I had a particularly egregious example I just had to mention: I received a flight itinerary from Houston to Lubbock, TX. On Friday, April 29, I could conceivably fly to Lubbock on Southwest Airlines for free. I actually recognized the name of the people who made the reservation; we’ve had previous Other Katie interactions, and I hoped they’d gotten their email address confusion straightened out when I stopped getting emails from them. Alas, no.

Actually, I have to wonder about this. What would happen if I showed up with the itinerary and my legitimate Katie Ferguson IDs? Could I actually fly using The Other Katie’s reservations? Would it be legal, or would I be impersonating somebody else and therefore stealing? I mean, morally, it seems clear I’d be stealing The Other Katie’s seat, but legally…? After all, I am Katie Ferguson.

I’ve had another set of egregious Other Katie emails recently, in which a person sent me the following email:

Per our phone conversation, will you please check with Dr. Baker to find out the starting and ending dates for the pre-sale of Summer Express? Shall I assume you all want to sell the workbooks at the full retail price so that you will make a profit for the school? How about selling the workbooks for $15.00 since they retail for $14.99? Do you have any particular project that you know the profit will go toward?

OK, not super exciting. I replied with my standard “Sorry, wrong Katie / Sincerely, Katie Ferguson / Seattle, WA” email. Shortly after, I received the exact same email from the same person again. I replied again. And then I received the same email a third time, with a comment from the sender about trying to get the email address right. For Pete’s sake, how hard can this be? Can the director of public relations at a company really fail three times to get a customer’s email address right?!

Then there’s the emails from people who are Katie Ferguson’s friends, rather than business contacts. Sometimes those emails are sobering, like the one from an Other Katie’s aunt and uncle hoping that Chris is doing better. I hope so, too. But generally those emails tend to be pretty funny. For example:

Subject: ROP
1. Go to the last place where you saw po.
2. Go to the place where you buried po.
3. Crusty knows where po is hiding.
4. Go to your instrument that hurts po’s ears.
5. The next clue is on the skeleton cheese head’s femur
6. Go into the classroom where you have been stressing over a vocab test: it is under your seat.
7. look behind where all the power points take place.

Or the one with the subject “Here you go biotch,” which just had a bad cell phone picture of a blonde girl (presumably Danalyn Prokopowicz, the sender of the email) attached.

I’ve also received invitations to several more events, including the Carlyle Woods Love Thy Neighbor party (some Other Katie must live at the Carlyle Woods condominiums) and a Dave Matthews Band concert. Too bad I couldn’t go!

Most puzzling of all, though, was this email, which I received a while ago:

Hallo Katherine,

danke für die Zusendung Deiner Anmeldung.
Die Mitgliedschaft gilt immer für ein Kalenderjahr.
Für 2010 können wir leider keine weiteren Mitglieder aufnehmen, da wir schon mit dem Dachverband in München abgerechnet haben.
Wir nehmen Dich somit ab dem 01.01.2011 als Mitglied auf. Ab hier läuft auch erst der Versicherungsschutz.
Solltest Du noch Fragen haben, kannst Du Dich gerne an uns wenden.

Schöne Grüße
[Name omitted]

I’d rate that most puzzling because I don’t speak a lick of German, so I have no idea what that email was about. Hope it wasn’t important.

Today, however, I was recognized as me accurately, but by people I didn’t recognize. I was riding home after cutting the first RAMROD Training Series (RTS) ride short*, and some bicyclists going the other way down 132nd Ave NE shouted “Hi Katie!” as I went north. I waved, a purely Pavlovian response at hearing my name. At first I thought they were part of the RTS group, but I checked the route and it never went up 132nd. I guess I was pretty recognizable, with my helmet streamers and riding Artemis. I spent some time puzzled. Who do I know who rides around the area? Later I learned that it was a couple from our church who are training for an Ironman. In any case, it’s nice to see friendly faces out and about, even if I don’t know them at at first.

* I changed my mind about a dozen times about whether to ride today or not. It was cold. I have a cold. My left calf still hurts from last weekend’s ride. My legs have no energy and have felt ever so slightly sore all week, whether a result of my cold, or overtraining, or something else, I don’t know. I ended up going down to the RTS ride with Dad, bringing Artemis because I thought it would rain and I didn’t want to clean Lucy. I kept up with the “rabbits” for around 25 miles, by which time I could tell it was time to go home and take a hot bath. The nice thing was that since I didn’t drive down, I didn’t have a car to bring home again. At the northernmost point of the route, I just kept going north another few miles and finished with 34 miles, around 2,000 feet of climbing, a 16.4 mph average pace, and 149 average heart rate. Then I took my hot bath and followed it with a nap and feel infinitely better. Tomorrow is a rest day, though. I don’t want to hurt myself.

The Other Katie, Redux

Day’s Verse:
Remember, our Message is not about ourselves; we’re proclaiming Jesus Christ, the Master. All we are is messengers, errand runners from Jesus for you. It started when God said, “Light up the darkness!” and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.
2 Cor. 4:5-6

I have mentioned The Other Katie phenomenon a couple of times before (here and here). These emails seem to come in waves:

Other Katie Email Frequency

Well, OK, this graph — which shows date on the X axis and number of emails received on the Y axis — doesn’t seem to actually support my perception that I receive Other Katie emails in waves. If one of you science types wants to do a quick statistical analysis on this data (I’m pretty sure October 2009 was an outlier) to indicate whether it really is cyclical or not, I won’t stop you. But the upshot is that over the last year or so, I’ve gotten 75 emails for Other Katies. Occasionally I get an exceptional one, and it’s time once again for me to share some of the stranger emails I receive in my alter ego as The Other Katie.

Received July 28, 2010
Subject: Zimmer 😉

Dear Katie,

I am a friend from Florian and he told me you’re might still need a room for your stay in HD.
One of my flatmates is moving out, so we are looking for somebody.
It would be a room in a share flat, with 3 other girls in Neuenheim (Kussmaulstr. 4), close to the campus…
no washing machine, but a lot of fun 🙂

Greetings from HD
[Name omitted]

Man, I wish I had a friend name Florian who lives in Heidelberg (I inferred this from some links attached). Sounds like quite an opportunity — I like to have a lot of fun, but the no washing machine is a deal breaker.

Received July 14, 2010
Subject: VVIP Program!

Hello,

Welcome to Hotel Sorella’s VVIP program! Your Sorella VVIP number is [Omitted]. You may use this number to guarantee future reservations.

If you are not affiliated with a corporate program, please book your reservation directly with us online at www.hotelsorella.com or by calling 866.842.0100. However, if you are affiliated with a corporate program and would like to receive proper credit to your account for each stay, book your reservations through your dedicated travel agency per corporate policy and make sure your VVIP number is indicated on your reservation to ensure VVIP benefits.

Please note, in the event you book through alternate third party channels not mentioned above, we cannot guarantee your account will be credited or your VVIP amenity will be delivered, although we will make every attempt to do so.

If there is any other way I may be of assistance, to check your VVIP status, or to update your profile, please feel free to contact me anytime. We look forward to welcoming you in the future!

Thank You,

[Name omitted]

Sales and Marketing & VVIP Program Coordinator
Hotel Sorella CITYCENTRE
800 west sam houston parkway north ?| building 9 | houston, texas 77024
t 713.827.3513 | f 713.973.1601 |
[Name omitted]@valenciagroup.com
www.hotelsorella.com | www.valenciagroup.com

I wish I really was a VVIP — sounds like a pretty posh place! Of course, it’s in Texas, and my experience there is limited to one rerouted layover during a Christmas flight to Seattle, so unfortunately I can’t say for sure.

Received July 7, 2010
Subject: Grasyon and Bryan’s Wedding Pre-Wedding Activities

Ladies and Gentlemen,

As Grayson and Bryan’s big day approaches I wanted to send everyone a quick note and gauge your interest in any pre-wedding activities.

On Thursday, August 5, 2010, several of us are thinking about taking a little rafting voyage during the day down one of Colorado’s beautiful rivers. We have several options open to us as far as duration, difficulty, etc…but before I get into all the details I would like to get a sense if anyone is interested. More than likely we’ll keep it to a ½ day event, which may cost anywhere from $90 – $120 per person. They will pick us up in Vail, so you don’t have to worry about transportation.

On Friday, August 6, 2010 some people were throwing around the idea of horseback riding in the morning, so again if you have any interest let me and we’ll figure out a plan.

Please let me know if you are interested rather quickly that way we can get more of the details ironed out and book something.

Thanks,
[Name Omitted]

Dang, sounds like I’m missing another fun opportunity! River rafting and horseback riding in Colorado — who wouldn’t want to do that? Whoever this Other Katie is, she certainly has a lot of pretty fun opportunities.

Received June 22, 2010
Subject: FW: New Trick

She’s on her back… She’s on her stomach… She can do both – since Ellie turned herself over for the first time yesterday!

I infer that The Other Katie knows somebody with a new baby. Otherwise Katie’s friends sound a bit, well, infantile.

Received May 2, 2010
Subject: Fw: Teachers appreciation Luncheon Monday May 3rd

Hi Katie! I just wanted to remind you that Monday is the Teachers and TA’s
Lunch. After you drop the kids off head over for some lunch from Willy’s
Mexican Cantina! Enjoy! Thanks for all you do for our children!!!!!!! We
really appreciate it! Especially me! Talk to you soon. [Name Omitted]

This one was particularly bad because I received it from a Katie Ferguson, who has an email address at yahoo.com. I assume she intended to forward it to herself but failed.

Received April 22, 2010
Subject: where in the world are yoooooooou!!!!!!!!

id like to know how you are doing? it’s been awhile since we last talked. just letting you know that we are still around and waiting for the new arrival well i will be in touch.
love always,
[name omitted]

I think I answered the sender’s subject-line question, anyway — I included my city and state location in my email signature. If by “new arrival” they mean a new baby, The Other Katie also knows a lot of pregnant women, since this is a different sender than the previous new-baby email.

And, last but not least, a more serious one.

Received March 19, 2010
Subject: [Name Omitted]

Hi Katie. I spoke with [Name X] yesterday and let her know [Name Omitted] is seeing a child psychologist, Dr. [Name Z] (“Dr. Z”). Dr. Z’s phone number is [888-888-8888]. We’ve had three sessions so far and are focusing on ways [Name Omitted] can handle situations that anger and frustrate him more effectively. I have filled out the necessary paperwork with Dr. Z for you and [Name X] to be able to discuss [Name Omitted] if the need arises. Please pass this information along to [Name X] the next time you see her. Thank you. Have a nice weekend. [Name Y]

I certainly wish Name Omitted and Name Y all the best. Clearly life isn’t all weddings, fun runs in Atlanta (I get lots of these, but they’re boring, so I didn’t post any), river rafting and horseback riding in Colorado, and cute new babies.

That’s the Other Katie update for now. Expect some more interesting snapshots of The Other Katie’s more-exciting life another time.