“Your light wil break forth like the dawn…your recovery will speedily spring forth.”
Contentment with Christ is yours when you submit yourself to God.
That big-hug-feeling will come when you are sorrowful over your sin and the sins of others.
When you humbly know where you stand with God, yielding and forebearing, you will be given joy.
God will fill your longing when you starve after His goodness, but not if you nibble on other worldly snacks.
Your forebearance, lovingkindness, and active seeking to do right will be paid back by God.
[to be continued]
To catch up on life: Luke and I have hung out a fair amount, kicking around; we went to the Comedy Festival Friday night and varied between moderately amused and not particularly amused at all. Kilroy, the group Eric’s in, performed last and did an overall fine job although they tended to be a little random for my taste. We actually left after a while, near the middle, because one group did such a terrible job that I actually was sadder rather than happier after seeing their performance. The weather’s been lovely and warm, causing a prodigious volume of snow to melt, which naturally clears the track! So we walked around the track, felt happier and more awake, and went back inside to moderately enjoy the rest of the show. That night I decided to stay up late in a desperate attempt to see if I could sleep in. Having received so many packages (thank you, family!) lately, I have lots of boxes sitting around. Sitting there at 11:00 at night, needing something to stay up for, I decided to make a little set of shelves by stacking two of the boxes and taping them together. Unfortunately, that produced a functional but terribly ugly little shelf-box; fortunately I’m creative, remembered some old National Geographics, Atlantic Monthlies, and IEEE Spectrums sitting around. Scissors and glue sticks completed my preparations, and I proceeded to cut out nearly every picture from each magazine. A mess ensued, but after two hours the major ugliness had begun vanishing and my eyes couldn’t stay open. (Sadly, I woke up at 7:30 as usual.)
Did homework on Saturday, as well as getting to talk to Ian briefly. He’s moved into a hostel for this week and is, apparently, rooming with a couple of girls. Eeek! He saw the British Museum, and from what he’s said it sounds fantastic. Also he’s getting lots of exercise walking around, keeping busy; I’m glad because I was concerned he’d get lonely like he did in Edinburgh. At about 9:20 that evening, after I’d sunk into a deep, sorrowful apathy as a result of finishing the House of Mirth and had just begun watching Star Trek: Generations as a cure, Lucas IM’d me asking about making cookies. I agreed, so we went to Price Chopper, then came back here and I proceeded to give him a tablespoon measure instead of a teaspoon. Turns out the amount of baking soda you put in a cookie recipe really does make a difference. Oops.
Today’s been long. I got up at 7:30 as usual, talked to Ian online for about an hour before church, and after church went out to lunch with an elder’s family. They took me to a resturaunt I’d never been to, and it wasn’t very good – nor was the service; we got there at 12:10 and didn’t get our food until after 1:15. I got somewhat interrogated, but that’s the nature of a “get to know you”-type experience of that sort. Joe and Wendy Mesite seem like nice people, deeply involved in First Alliance although they live in Oxford, 20 minutes away. Very nice; they have a couple of kids of rather indeterminate age who are well-behaved and eat lots. I showed them the apartment briefly; their faces registered some dismay at its size and general drabness, which saddened me. I’m looking for ways to keep reducing the dinginess factor in the place but the feel of Worcester keeps creeping in no matter what I do. It seems futile, and my nerves have begun feeling a bit grated at the fact of living in this dank, dirty no matter how much I clean, stuffy, basement apartment. Luke’s parents even counselled against living here because it was so awful – they called our landlord a “slumlord” (possibly more accurate than I’d like to admit).
After they left Luke appeared to finish baking the cookies, which dough had to sit overnight in the fridge. They turned out disappointingly to him, not at all what they’re supposed to be like. Eric commented on how delicious the cinnamon in them was, and because I’d given Luke the tablespoon measure for cinnamon as well I started laughing hysterically: I was just imagining Eric eating a cookie and saying “Hey, the baking soda is really nice.” Finshed Generations, “Adonais,” and not much else. Wasted day, now that I think about it. Not a bad one, but I need to finish some more reading. I’m feeling lonely again, not for anybody but for my better half. Another week looms ahead, one of some indeterminate volume of work and too many hours.
– KF –