Day’?s Verse:
I can’?t tell you how happy I am to learn that many members of your congregation are diligent in living out the Truth, exactly as commanded by the Father. But permit me a reminder, friends, and this is not a new commandment but simply a repetition of our original and basic charter: that we love each other. Love means following his commandments, and his unifying commandment is that you conduct your lives in love. This is the first thing you heard, and nothing has changed.
2 John 1:4-6

The front of a credit-card-sized handout we received on Friday:
CRL card

The back of this stiff, shiny card says:

I help provide our customers with exactly what they need to improve and expedite their research and the discovery, development through first-in-human evaluation and safe manufacture of new therapies for patients who need them.

Everyone in the company received this inspirational card, which the high-ups intend to inspire us to even greater heights. My coworkers and I turned them into magnets (our cubes are almost entirely magnetic) and covered up the inspirational back side. Even so, I still have to see our new slogan every day:

accelerating drug development. exactly.

Marketing people at CRL give every appearance of enthusiasm over this puzzling phrasing, but it reminded me of another lame slogan:

The University of Science and Technology. And Life.

Notice the similar, incomprehensible use of the superfluous period there. I heard almost endless jokes for quite a while after the unveiling of that dumb slogan; now, at work, I hear only mild muttering. Thus my task is clear: I must propagate as many exactly jokes as possible while the new company phrase remains prevalent. I have already begun by putting up a sign in the window of my cube:

Donate to my MS Bike Ride. Exactly.

Several people have already commented how amusing they found it. Exactly.

Please help me raise money for the MS Bike Tour Cape Cod Getaway. Donate today on my MS Participant page.

KF quality

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