Voter’s Pamphlet Fun

Ian and I have been getting our laughs reading the voter’s pamphlet. Highlights:

“We are becomeing (sic) a military state under fear from our own government. How sad!” -Max Sampson, gubernatorial candidate

Also, and most of these are either direct quotes or summaries including verbatim good bits, including all scare quotes, the following:

-One platform gubernatorial candidate: raise cigarette packs by $10 per pack;
-Ritzville resident Glenn (Stocky) R Stockwell, with master’s degrees in the “school of hard knocks,” “barnyard physiology,” and “surviving life’s challenges” who would fund a $2 billion Columbia Basin project as our US Senator;
-Will Baker, also US Senator candidate, who has an irrefutable chain of FACTS showing that Obama should be impeached because he gave state-of-the-art military spy drone technology to Iran;
-Congressional District Number 8, Ernest Huber, who did a better job campaigning for incumbent Dave Reichert than Dave does for himself;
-Dave Christie, US Congressional District Number 9, believes “globalization” is simply an extension of the “free trade” imperial policies of the British East India Company
-Lt. Governor candidate Dave T Sumner, IV, whose professional experience speaks for him: Constitutional and international law aficionado and currently active lobbyist, former union journeyman commercial carpenter, and electro-goth and rap recording artist; also refounder of the neo (new) populist party and founder of The Haunted Church and former US Army cook. Continue Reading >>