(In order of preference)

1. He’s hungry. — Feed him, preferably something like raisins* that ups blood sugar quickly.
2. He’s tired. — Start bedtime or naptime routine a little earlier.
3. He’s sick. — Run and hide, but only after autoclaving your entire home. Otherwise, you are doomed.
4. He’s 2 1/2. — Resign yourself to the fact that there’s nothing to be done but endure for the next couple decades.

* Child’s input: Preferably chocolate chips, cookies containing chocolate chips, chocolate ice cream, or chocolate milkshakes. Theme emerging? Possibly…

Reasons My Son is Not Grouchy

1. We picked up a big rock in our back yard and found a plethora of creepy crawly things, including a zillion curly bugs, a few millipedes, some beetles, some spiders, and three slugs (one very large, one medium, and one small, much to Benji’s delight). One spider was a funnel spider hiding down its funnel — I showed Benji but strongly encouraged him not to help the spider, as it could find its own bugs just fine.
Benji: “Benji love bugs! Benji love banana slugs! Banana slugs love bananas! Benji love curly bugs! Mommy, come see two very very wiggly worms!”
Me: “I like bugs, too… [bleck bleck bleck bleck]”
Later on, we looked at our book called Insects (me concealing my shudders, because some things you just don’t want to see really huge) and discovered that curly bugs and millipedes are NOT insects; and in fact, the only insects we saw were the few beetles that scuttled rapidly away.
2. He got to eat a ton of pasta for snack and lunch, followed by a dinner of frozen green beans and bacon.
3. It was 75 degrees this afternoon and Ian brilliantly opened up the water table, then let Benji run around nekked in the back yard playing with water.