Dear Employer,

Thank you for continuing to employ me during the pandemic. I sure do appreciate having a job and being able to pay my bills.

I recently decided to redecorate my home office due to the fact that I’m going slightly batty having spent the last year staring at the same walls.

Now that I’ve completed this redecoration, I’m sorry to inform you that I will not be able to return to the office even after the pandemic restrictions end. My home office is just too stylish, comfortable, and productive. Compared with the cramped, noisy, distracting, uncomfortable, and ugly corporate surroundings in the open floor plan office you insist on cramming us into, my home office is a little slice of paradise. (See attached photographic evidence.)

Thank you for your understanding. I look forward to many more years of working for you remotely.



Office Redo: From the Doorway
Exhibit one: View of office (which serves as a guest bedroom also) from the doorway.
Office Redo: Bed & Window
Exhibit Two: I have my own window for natural light. No fluorescent light headaches, no flickering.
Office Redo: Desk Area
Exhibit Three: My work area. Enough desk space to spread out, calm beautiful decorations, and no chance of my inadvertently bumping a coworker when I scratch my nose.

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