True confession: We aren’t the most diligent homeowners. Nobody in this household particularly enjoys those little around-the-house projects that accrue when you own your own home. I think the one I like the least is probably mowing.

Mostly this is because I don’t even want grass. If I had my dream yard, it would be a patch of clover surrounded by evergreen trees and native undergrowth. Grass is so demanding:

Grass: “Water me or I’ll die and turn brown and ugly!”

Me: “Fine, here’s some water.”

Grass: <grows> “Mow me!”

Me: “Fine.” <Sweaty mowing.>

Grass: “Fertilize me.”

Me: “Geez, what’s next?” <Fertilizes>

Bees: “Where’s our food?”

Grass: “Bwahahah, nothing for you here, native pollinators!”

Water company: “That’ll be $200.”

Me: “Gaaaahhhh!”

Basically I’m paying money and using precious fresh water to create a demanding, environmentally unfriendly monoculture that requires all sorts of extra chores that I don’t even like.

As my Grandpa Sullivan would’ve said: Ridiculous!

Aaaaanyway, who knew I had so much to say about our lawn? Now if you ever see our yard, you’ll know why it’s so indifferent-looking.

Regardless, there always comes a point where I concede the need to hack down the tall, gone-to-seed grass. Today was that day.

I usually only mow front or back, but it had been so long I did ’em both today.

I also have previously promised our elderly across-the-street neighbor that I’d mow his yard any time I mowed mine, so I had to go check with him. Fortunately, he’d gotten someone else to do it recently, but I’m sure the day will come when I’m doing our yard and his yard regularly.

By the time I had finished, I had sweated through everything. I drank a couple gallons of water, took a cold shower, and voilà! Fresh-as-a-daisy Katie now has a mowed yard. And since it won’t get any water until next time it rains, we don’t have to worry about mowing again for a while.