Full remote

This week I got the excellent news that this is now my permanent work desk:

My desk at home.

My company has decided to save itself a packet by no longer maintaining office space in Seattle. Permanently. My boss hastened to reassure me that my job remained safe, but all Seattle employees on our team would work remotely from here on out.

I’m glad to hear it, but not as unalloyed joyful as I expected. I kind of started looking forward to seeing my Seattle colleagues, even if we didn’t directly work together — sharing baked goods, writing the jokeboard, going for walks at lunchtime — although maybe not so much that final one, given the shocking rise in violent crime in the neighborhood around our office tower. I didn’t want to do it five days a week, but a couple days sounded like a good mental health break from being alone in my apartment. Continue Reading >>

What I need, not what I want

You know what’s strange? Coming to grips with losing biking as I’ve known it for the last 15+ years feels almost exactly the same as a breakup. Maybe grief is just grief.

As I’m processing through this, I have to accept that I’m not ready to be done with being a performance athlete. I’m not ready to say goodbye to my biking buddies. I’m not ready to lose the stability of a routine I’ve maintained in essentially the same form for nearly all my adult life.

Not ready, but able. I can live a happy, fulfilled, joyful, active, healthy life without biking and all its routines. Continue Reading >>

On the edge

For more than 15 years, I’ve ridden my bike. It started as a practical move to avoid buying a second car, but over time evolved into more than a hobby; it became a passion, a cornerstone of my identity. For me, bicycling has been a port in the storm, a refuge and relief, a way to meditate and dwell in the present moment and let go of the future, a mental health coping mechanism. It was community, friendship, connection, a regular group of people who I came to know and care about. It was freedom and joy and as close to flying as I could get. Continue Reading >>

Ancient technology

Going through some papers, I found this:

What is this ancient technology

Me: Benji, what do you think this is?
Benji: A CD?
Me: No.
Benji: A VHS?
Me: No.
Benji: That technology is too old for me!

Honestly, it’s probably best that whatever’s on that floppy disk stays there. It is definitely some story I wrote in high school that should never see the light of day again.

Tomorrow will be better

Today was an exhausting emotional rollercoaster of a day. Our divorce finalized. I connected with three separate groups of friends. I learned that, very likely, I’ll have to give up biking or my artery will keep getting worse. The cherry blossoms at the UW were beautiful. I guess this is life.

Cherry Blossoms at UW

Happy 2nd Birthday, Coronavirus Pandemic

Today we mark the 2nd anniversary of when the World Health Organization declared the coronavirus a pandemic. Hooray?

To celebrate, we made a Coronavirus Birthday Cake. Originally it was going to be a hemisphere with candles sticking out all over, but due to time constraints and the fact the first two layers turned out so perfect it seemed a shame to mess up, we transitioned to just a regular layer cake:

Coronavirus Cake
Coronavirus Cake 2

It’s a lemon poppyseed cake with lemon cream cheese frosting. The poppyseeds were perfect little coronaviruses. Continue Reading >>

Welcome to puberty, kid

Today B found his first zit. He said, “I guess I’m in puberty now.” Yeah, that and the need for deodorant are a good clue.

Then he asked when I had my first zit, and I honestly have no idea. Then: “When did you have your last zit?” Me: “Uh, right now?!” Welcome to having that “youthful” skin, kiddo.

I still maintain that the biggest lie my mom ever told me was when 16-year-old Katie moaned, “How long will I have to live with zits like this?” and she said, “Oh, don’t worry, you’ll be done by your 20s.” I should’ve known something was up, because she still got zits at that point. Continue Reading >>