Overwhelming Amounts of Everything

This last week has slowly turned up the dial on seemingly every part of my life. I’m going to take a moment and dump some of what’s going on here.

This got long, so here are links to navigate to each section:

There’s lots to get to, so without further ado, let’s jump in.

Benji’s neurological assessment

Back in February, Benji’s therapist suggested he might benefit from a neurological assessment to see whether things like his inability to sit still for 2 seconds at a time, his flash-trigger temper, his alarming level of intelligence, his extreme lack of physical dexterity, his desperate need for routine, and his struggles with flexible thinking add up to some kind of actual psychological diagnosis. I’m sure they will — but I’m honestly not sure yet what that may be. Continue Reading >>

Mega-Zit Stress

Last Monday, I started my new role at my work. In many ways, this new role feels like going back to the start of my job four and a half years ago — and not only because I have to wake up at 5:00 am every weekday again.

Back then, we barely had processes in place to figure out what features needed tech writing documentation. We had one regularly organized meeting, but otherwise, writers scoured the development story tracking system (they used a system called Rally, which we regularly inadvertently called Raleigh, the site of our company’s other campus) and went around asking individual project managers what they were doing. Continue Reading >>

New Computer Woes

I know, “woes”? Who pairs “new computer” with “woes”?!

Normally I wouldn’t pair those two words myself (although, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become less keen on adopting new technology and much more keen on keeping my functional, familiar technology running as long as possible). But the last few days have convinced me to avoid getting a new work computer for as long as possible in the future, and that’s driving my unusual pairing of new technology with sorrow, misery, and anguish. Continue Reading >>

A Piece of Poo

Yesterday I had a rough finish to my workday. I’d spent most of Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday working very hard on an urgent marketing piece. By the end of yesterday I thought the marketing guy and I had it buttoned up. We’d gone through two rounds of edits by the final approver, and just sent it back for one last confirmation that our last tweaks met the need.

Apparently not.

The approver shredded (metaphorically; it was a digital file) the document, rewriting vast swathes, stomping like an elephant through the delicately crafted savannah of my work. I’d put in almost three days of work on this, and now the approver — who is not a writer and who knows next to nothing about good writing — took my work, tossed it out the window, and rewrote the entire thing in their own words. Continue Reading >>

Disappointment and Worry

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Through petitions and praises, turn worry into prayer, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything working together for good, will come in and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Summing it up, friends, I’d say you’d do best by filling your minds and meditate upon things that are true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, and gracious–the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse… –Philippians 4:6-8 Continue Reading >>

Mommying

I feel like there should be achievement badges for adult activities like parenting. For example, a couple weeks ago, Benji came crying to me and said he’d bonked himself; I looked and gave him a hug, but told him, “If it’s not bleeding, you’re probably OK.” It felt like a milestone in parenting.

The last week has reminded me of what being Mommy exclusively looks like. For example, take the last two days:

Wednesday

5:30 am – Wake up and go downstairs to start making oatmeal.
5:45 am – Benji wakes up and is starving. Give him some almonds and water to hold him for a while.
6:00 am – Benji officially “gets up” and wants to play.
6:00 am – 8:00 am – Help Benji make his own oatmeal; troubleshoot issues with oatmeal (not enough banana slices, need more oats, need more water); try to eat own breakfast before it gets cold; read Benji story while he eats; Ian takes over playing with Benji while I brush teeth and put on clothes; play games until school time.
8:35 am – Pack up nap bag; get Benji and self ready for going out in the 18-degree temps. Leave for school.
9:00 am – Drop off at school. Teacher reminds me that I volunteered to make play-dough for January.
9:05 am – Stop at potential daycare for discussion. Write check for first month. Feel conflicted. Get phone call from friend about date to go for a walk.
9:15 am – Put gas in car.
9:20 am – 9:45 am – Drive to friend’s house.
9:50 am – 1:30 pm – Go for walk at the Arboretum and out to lunch with friend. (Ellen Aagaard, who we try to see monthly and usually manage quarterly.)
1:30 pm – 2:15 pm – Drive to parents’ house. Pick up swimming suit for lessons starting this weekend.
2:15 pm – 2:45 pm – Walk with mom to grocery store. Purchase groceries (long line), walk back to car, drive home.
3:00 pm – Get home. Make play-dough for school.
4:00 pm – In-laws bring Benji home. He’s a in a good mood but tired from not napping.
4:00 pm – 4:15 pm – Try to plan logistics with in-laws but constant interruptions make it difficult.
4:15 pm – 5:45 pm – Play with Benji. Ian coming home late.
5:45 pm – Feed Benji dinner.
6:00 pm – Ian gets home tired.
6:00 pm – 6:30 pm – Play more.
6:30 pm – 7:30 pm – Ian puts Benji down for bed.
7:30 pm – Eat leftovers with Ian and discuss daycare.
9:00 pm – Go to bed. Sleep badly due to anxieties about daycare and new job situation.

Thursday

Another busy day; instead of going blow-by-blow, let’s do another metric. On Thursday, in addition to all the necessary stuff like getting everyone fed and dressed, dealing with kitchen cleanup and dishes, making lunches, dropping off/picking up from school, and putting down for nap, I:

  • Cleaned out the garage. Filled recycle bin and garbage can. Swept garage and tidied up remaining stuff. Figured out what will be given away.
  • Sorted through humongous pile of rags and retained only the ones good for bike cleaning. The extras filled up an enormous paper yard waste bag.
  • Sorted through all old bike parts and collected everything to be recycled. Tidied everything else.
  • Drove to recycle place and dropped of huge load of recyclable clothes and old bike parts, including a big pile of tires and tubes.
  • Stopped by Big 5 to buy new toe warmers. (Who knew they expired? They do. It’s disappointing to have tepid toe warmers.)
  • Cleaned out my bike area of the laundry room and broke down a bunch of cardboard boxes. Filled recycle bin with flattened boxes.
  • Researched Light & Motion light replacement (8 years old; amazingly, the battery still works, but is fading fast) and obtained existing-customer 30% off coupon (yeah!).
  • Continued to research childcare options. Filled out next year’s kindergarten registration form. Read daycare packet and began completing forms (there are a lot).
  • Did trainer ride with intervals during nap time, making it a whole 20 “miles” and finishing 5 minutes before Benji woke up.
  • Printed out planet pictures for Benji. Drew extra planets that were missing (all the dwarf planets, plus the Asteroid Belt, Kuiper Belt, Oort Cloud, and the Sun). Helped him cut them out. Played “planet game” twice before going totally crazy. Continue Reading >>

  • Employment Evolution

    At the New Year, people usually reflect on the past year. I’ll follow that well-trodden road with an emphasis on my employment situation, because this year and next year are shaping up to look so different as to be unrecognizable to one another.

    This year saw me reach a tipping point with my Client Service Administrator (CSA) job at Kaizen Financial Advisors, a job I haven’t mentioned much due to compliance and confidentiality concerns. Remember that spectacular sunrise picture I’ve posted more than once?

    Sunrise and Mt. Baker from San Juan Island

    That morning, sitting quietly on the beach while a deer meandered by, I felt a strong sense that it was time to move on from serving as a CSA. Although I could complete the job tasks well enough, and I served my boss and our clients to the best of my ability, I never got excited about my work. I had the job not because I wanted to work in finance, but because four years ago, my boss offered a super-convenient work-from-home job that I thought would help me stay sane through all the diapers. And it has, so my thanks remain to the job for that.

    Yet, this photo reminds me of that contemplative hour that, in some ways, led me eventually to my choices today. It’s when I started questioning our status quo, a tipping point.

    Even though that’s when I started questioning whether I should stay at my job, I didn’t immediately give notice back then; I was too afraid of making big changes, and I felt loyal to the company and my boss. But in the intervening months, some personal things combined with a growing realization that I needed a change in my employment situation. I didn’t have any ideas what that might look like at the time, but by Thanksgiving, I knew something would have to change.

    At the same time, back in September I went with Kaizen to a user group at Tamarac, a company whose software we’ve used for many years. Their software has dramatically improved in usability over the last couple years (and I’ve done more training, which helps), and using that software was a big part of my CSA job. During that user group, I arranged for us to get a tour of the company and meet our support team, some of whom we’ve worked with for years.

    At that time, I found myself thinking how cool it would be to work in that environment. Their company culture seemed positive, and the people we met all seemed nice. I liked their vibe. I idly browsed their job listings, but didn’t see anything compelling — certainly nothing worth quitting my super-convenient work-from-home job in favor of a commute to the Columbia Center in downtown Seattle. But after that I occasionally would eyeball their local job listings to see if anything really compelling came up.

    Meanwhile, I gave my notice at Kaizen, and had my last day yesterday, Friday, December 30. Earlier this week, I handed over all my home office supplies and my laptop, along with a big document describing how to do most of my tasks. It felt a little bit like graduating from college again — there’s no “homework” hanging over my head after four years! Hooray!

    Last month, something really compelling at Tamarac did come up: a Technical Writer II position, the perfect blend of my previous writing experience and current financial experience. After some serious soul-searching and late-night conversations with Ian, we decided I should apply and see what happens.

    What happened was that I got an interview last Friday, which (despite my still recovering from pneumonia) went swimmingly. I thought so, and apparently the hiring manager thought so, too, because he called last night with a job offer that had me bouncing with enthusiasm. I agreed without negotiation or hesitation. It will be at least two weeks before I can start, which is good, because that gives us some time to look into childcare options.

    As those of you who know me well are aware, this is way, way, way outside my standard operating procedure. In our family, we act cautiously, with comprehensive planning ahead to cover every contingency, never making seriously big decisions quickly or without knowing as much as we can about how it would work out. But with this job, we don’t know what will happen for childcare and we don’t know about how my commute and being gone full-time would impact our daily life; but I do know this is a job I’m really, really excited about, for possibly the first time in my entire working career.

    That, I will fight for. One, two free, here we go!